Answering Error on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

By Don Bradford

Perhaps the first error we should address is the first one we usually ignore. It would seem that far more thought and time is given to planning the wedding ceremony than is given to the marriage itself. This must be reversed.

Marriage is looked forward to by almost all of us from an early age. Most of us become anxious to be in the relationship far before we are ready for it. If parents are like mine were, too little introduction and instruction is given concerning marriage and its responsibilities. It would seem that they assumed that when the time came, I would know all I needed to know about marriage by the rules of human instinct. This assumption was not correct then, it is not correct today!

So many people enter into marriage only to soon break the relationship. The last time I heard anything on this, it was said about half of those married soon looked to divorce. Many of our youngsters (and some not so young) tend to lose that which they thought they had in common before marriage and begin to feel regret that they are so bound. With so many people being divorced, it is easy for them to assume that divorce is the way out and they begin to look for a new beginning. Whether or not God is considered is debatable. Most of the time he is not! We concentrate on our problem and forget that we are in subjection to the Higher Power who could help us with our problem if we would seek his help (1 Cor.10:13; Phil. 4:13). We want relief from our problem.

The solution to the problem is for parents, preachers, teachers, and church members in general to come to a recognition of what God has ordained and enforce that understanding. Selfishness is at the root of almost every hasty marriage and most divorces. We want things our way, or else! Discipline of self along the lines of God’s instructions regarding marriage, its purpose, and its goal are absolutely essential. One of the big problems is that too many people (including church members) have little, or no knowledge of what God has ordained on these matters and depend upon what others tell them. This is fatal!

We, individually, bear responsibility. Gone are the dayswhen society accepts the fact of parents making the marriage arrangements. We must learn and be prepared to act on our own responsibility and be ready to accept the consequences of our mistakes, if they be there. We must know that God in the beginning ordained that, when we come to that time in life, we should leave our parents and must cling to the one we choose as our mate. That is the rule for today! There is a permanency to this action that we must accept. Too, we have to learn and accept the fact that when we do what we, individually, can do, God does something we can-not do  God joins the two and they become one flesh. This must be recognized! What we hear Jesus teaching in Matthew 19:1-12 is exactly what God ordained in Genesis 2:24. Jesus tells us that the foolishness of man caused God to allow Moses to relent on his former determination, but that is not the way it was from the beginning! Then Jesus voices what his dictate is on the matter.

Too few of us recognize that when we came into this world we did so by the grace and benevolence of our God (Gen. 48:9; Eccl. 12:7). We had absolutely nothing to do with the matter. So it is when we give ourselves into a marriage relationship. We only join ourselves to our mate. God makes us “one flesh. ” There is nothing we can do about it. God’s action comes with the territory!

We must teach these things to our children! We must observe these God-given rules!

Every relationship has its own risks  marriage, child birth, etc. We need to learn that everything is not going to be the “rose garden” that we would like it to be. The best planned marriage can go wrong. That child we so anxiously looked forward to can turn out to be a complete disappointment (Deut. 21:18-21).When these things happen there is no way we can throw up our hands and quit. We have to make up our minds that we are going to make the best of things. It is said that when we are given lemons we should make lemonade. Even after some fifty-four years of marriage, I get angry with my wife. But, I remember that Paul covers that problem in Ephesians 4:26-27. Should I obey God, or give in to what I would like to do  run away from the problem? To those wives whose husbands ran out on them as suggested in 1 Corinthians 7, instructions given to them said that even though things did not work out as planned, they were responsible to “keep the home fires burning” and not give up.

Frequently it would seem that to many changing mates is little different from changing coats. Perhaps a husband has been guilty of sexual sin with another woman. Some years later is the wife justified by God to use that historical event as grounds for divorcing him? How has she been able to put up with him and his sin for all the ensuing years? Could it be that the wife suddenly sees another man she thinks she would like to have and uses the historical event as an excuse to put the old husband away? Are we aware that God tells us that only the innocent party may put away his/her mate and remarry? It would seem that this area is not often considered.

Too often we find church members who should know better giving sympathy to and attempting to justify a second marriage after the first marriage has gone awry. Was the divorce predicated on a God-accepted reason? Many times it is not. When it is suggested that the second marriage is not accepted by God, defense is established to justify the new, and sinful, relationship. Where is our love for God, his instructions and the former relationship? What are our feelings regarding the woman God still considers the wife of the “newly married man”? What about the children of that relationship? Without a God-approved reason for divorce, the divorced woman is still the man’s wife. The “joining” made by God continues regardless of what civil courts and/or the participants think they have done.

See Mark 6:17. As John, the Baptizer, spoke the mind of God, he instructed Herod that he was married to a woman who was not really his wife  she still belonged to the man she thought she had divorced. How often does this happen today among church members and/or in our society?

Advocates of the liberalization of divorce among members of the church are now making new definition to words. Jesus tells us that except for the reason of fornication (or adultery) one who is married cannot put away his/her mate. So, to some unlearned and gullible people, adultery now means something other than sexual relations with one not his/her mate. To some, adultery now means the action of divorcing the first mate and marrying the second mate. This definition cannot be found in any recognized Greek Lexicon, but it is being advocated and the claim is made that Jesus gave us the definition in Matthew 19:9.

Others make claim that adultery is a “one-time” thing and the continued living together with the associated sexual relationship is not a continuation of the adulterous relationship.

We would find it interesting to use the definition of the word instead of the word itself when reading Bible pas-sages having to do with the subject. Such should remind us of Peter’s statement, 2 Peter 3:16 “. . . His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction” (NIV).

Sixty years ago divorce and remarriage was scorned by almost everyone. Today the inroads made by Satan are so great that not only insult is come upon the church of our Lord, but the injury is beyond our ability to comprehend because of divorce and remarriage among members. A few years ago a preacher from an institutional congregation asked me why there were more divorces and remarriages among “my” group than “his.” I could not answer, but what he believed does seem to be true from what I have heard, and this is a shame if it be fact! Until people in the church are willing to “take their heads out of the sand” and study the subject together there will be division among us unto our condemnation per 1 Corinthians 1:10, and other pas-sages. Until church members come to the point in their conversion where they determine to live according to the dictates of Scriptures, we are going to experience difficulties and heartbreak because of divorce and remarriage among our spiritual family.

Unless we in the church do away with the A.C.L.U. attitude that seems to be developing in the church we will never be able to overcome the problems of marriage, divorce and remarriage, or any other which has an impact sufficient to separate the brethren. May the God of heaven be merciful to his people.

Guardian of Truth XL: No. 13, p. 26-27
July 4, 1996

“Beggars”

By Jim McDonald

Sometimes I hear criticism that most letters from the Philippines are requests for help. I am sure that is true. Most Filipinos regard us here in the States as rich and frankly, compared with them, we are. One trip to their is-lands ought to melt even the most hardened of hearts as one drives from the capital into the remote provincial villages and views their humble homes, sees their daily fare of food, meager supply of clothes, poor furniture and their scrounging to acquire even 32 cents to mail a letter to the U.S. We are rich, and to Filipino brethren whose lives are so devoid of hope we are their only link with hope. The following excerpt is taken from the letter of a Filipino friend, brother and preacher. “Sometimes I have the feeling to be ashamed of begging help but our situation force me to do. This is the only way to survive, to be a beggar.”

I am sure the blind beggar of John 9 did not present a very pretty sight to Jesus’ disciples when they came in contact with him. They wondered whether his blindness was the result of his sin or that of his parents. Likely the lame man of Acts 3 was not a wholesome picture when Peter and John went into the temple at the hour of prayer. It is possible that sight of him “turned some folks off’ just as the wounded and bruised Jew of Luke 10 “turned off ” the priest and Levite. The beggar Lazarus was a miser-able, wretched specimen of humanity, laid as he were at the gates of the rich man  full of sores, which the dogs licked. But, he was God’s child (Luke 16).

The plight of our brethren in the Philippines (and Africa, Nigeria and India) is not in most instances a result of their own making. Droughts, floods, and economy are factors beyond their control. Most of these do not fit into the category of “working not at all, but are busybodies.” Brethren in these areas are caught in a web of circumstances beyond their control and so the plea for help  begging, if we want to call it that. There may be some unworthy souls among them whose status in life is all together that of their own making who just might be helped by some unsuspecting U.S. brother. So what? Will his hypocrisy make the sincerely given gift a sin? Shall we help none lest we help some who do not deserve our help?

We cannot feed the world. Can we help all our impoverished brethren? Can we help some of them? Should we even try? Somehow I am under the impression our Savior said, “To do good and to communicate forget not, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.” “As we have opportunity, let us work that which is good toward all men, especially toward those of the household of faith.” “In love of the brethren be ye tenderly affectioned one toward an-other, in honor preferring one another.” “And let our people learn to maintain good work for necessary uses.” “Pure religion and undefiled before our God and the Father is this to visit the fatherless and the widows in their afflictions and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” “What doth it profit my brother, if a man say he hath faith and hath not works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister be naked and in lack of daily food and one of you say unto him, go in peace, be ye warmed and filled and yet ye give them not the things needful for the body, what doth it profit?” “My little children, let us not love in word, neither with the tongue, but in deed and in truth” (Heb. 13:16; Gal. 6:10; Rom. 12:10; Titus 3:14; James 1:26f; 2:14-16; 1 John 3:18).

Be grateful you live in the land of plenty you do. Be grateful things are as well with you as they are. And never forget that our Lord said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Your state could be the same as theirs. Do they like to “beg”? I think not. But to whom else may they turn? Helping our unfortunate brethren brings a far greater blessing to us than them. Dare we forget that Jesus said “Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye did it unto me”? (Matt. 25:40).

Guardian of Truth XL: No. 14, p. 11
July 18, 1996

Sometimes I hear criticism that most letters from the Philippines are requests for help. I am sure that is true. Most Filipinos regard us here in the States as rich and frankly, compared with them, we are. One trip to their is-lands ought to melt even the most hardened of hearts as one drives from the capital into the remote provincial villages and views their humble homes, sees their daily fare of food, meager supply of clothes, poor furniture and their scrounging to acquire even 32 cents to mail a letter to the U.S. We are rich, and to Filipino brethren whose lives are so devoid of hope we are their only link with hope. The following excerpt is taken from the letter of a Filipino friend, brother and preacher. “Sometimes I have the feeling to be ashamed of begging help but our situation force me to do. This is the only way to survive, to be a beggar.”

I am sure the blind beggar of John 9 did not present a very pretty sight to Jesus’ disciples when they came in contact with him. They wondered whether his blindness was the result of his sin or that of his parents. Likely the lame man of Acts 3 was not a wholesome picture when Peter and John went into the temple at the hour of prayer. It is possible that sight of him “turned some folks off’ just as the wounded and bruised Jew of Luke 10 “turned off ” the priest and Levite. The beggar Lazarus was a miser-able, wretched specimen of humanity, laid as he were at the gates of the rich man  full of sores, which the dogs licked. But, he was God’s child (Luke 16).

The plight of our brethren in the Philippines (and Africa, Nigeria and India) is not in most instances a result of their own making. Droughts, floods, and economy are factors beyond their control. Most of these do not fit into the category of “working not at all, but are busybodies.” Brethren in these areas are caught in a web of circumstances beyond their control and so the plea for help  begging, if we want to call it that. There may be some unworthy souls among them whose status in life is all together that of their own making who just might be helped by some unsuspecting U.S. brother. So what? Will his hypocrisy make the sincerely given gift a sin? Shall we help none lest we help some who do not deserve our help?

We cannot feed the world. Can we help all our impoverished brethren? Can we help some of them? Should we even try? Somehow I am under the impression our Savior said, “To do good and to communicate forget not, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.” “As we have opportunity, let us work that which is good toward all men, especially toward those of the household of faith.” “In love of the brethren be ye tenderly affectioned one toward an-other, in honor preferring one another.” “And let our people learn to maintain good work for necessary uses.” “Pure religion and undefiled before our God and the Father is this to visit the fatherless and the widows in their afflictions and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” “What doth it profit my brother, if a man say he hath faith and hath not works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister be naked and in lack of daily food and one of you say unto him, go in peace, be ye warmed and filled and yet ye give them not the things needful for the body, what doth it profit?” “My little children, let us not love in word, neither with the tongue, but in deed and in truth” (Heb. 13:16; Gal. 6:10; Rom. 12:10; Titus 3:14; James 1:26f; 2:14-16; 1 John 3:18).

Be grateful you live in the land of plenty you do. Be grateful things are as well with you as they are. And never forget that our Lord said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Your state could be the same as theirs. Do they like to “beg”? I think not. But to whom else may they turn? Helping our unfortunate brethren brings a far greater blessing to us than them. Dare we forget that Jesus said “Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye did it unto me”? (Matt. 25:40).

Guardian of Truth XL: No. 14, p. 11
July 18, 1996

An Open Denial

By Ken Leach

So the brotherhood is looking for gospel preachers are they? (see “A Number of Churches, Large and Small Are Now Looking for Preachers,” Guardian of Truth, May 16, 1996 article by H E. Phillips.) I doubt that!

What if I could find a gospel preacher that has been unsuccessfully looking for a congregation to work with for over a year? Well, you say, maybe this gospel preacher isn’t a good enough speaker. I respond that he was recently asked to present an evening lecture at Florida College and did very well according to hundreds who heard him preach. Well, maybe he is one of those preachers who moves around too much. I respond that he is still working for the same congregation he was working with five years ago. Well, maybe he is one of those preachers who has never done anything but preach and cannot relate to the “real world.” I respond that this man was head of communication for a very large firm (the U.S. Navy) from which he retired after twenty years.

Well, maybe he isn’t very good at personal work. I respond that this man, when holding a gospel meeting in Tennessee, went to the town a couple of days early (on his own volition), knocked on doors, invited people to the meeting, asked for home Bible studies and baptized a couple from that effort during the three-day meeting. How long has it been since you heard of something like that?

Well, maybe this man doesn’t have the kind of wife and family that a gospel preacher needs to be effective. I respond that this man served as a qualified deacon of the church and his wife is one of the most godly women I have ever met. One of his daughters attended Florida College and another is in high school. Both are Christians. Well, maybe this man is demanding too much money or is too restricted to a certain part of the country. I respond that this man has a retirement income, is willing to work at a part-time job when things get tight and has never demanded anything in the way of money from anybody. He isn’t restricted geographically to anywhere. Well, maybe this man can’t relate to the young people of a congregation. I respond that this man is a favorite of young people and is very social.

Well, maybe this man is one of those preachers who likes to “run the show” and would be difficult to deal with from the standpoint of an eldership. I respond that the reason this man would like to relocate is so he can work with an eldership. He believes the preacher has enough to do without having to do the work of an elder. Well, maybe this man is so old he has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. I respond that this gospel preacher is about 50 and in perfect health as is his family.

Well, if all this is true, this man must be holding some silly position on an “issue.” I respond that this preacher stands firm on immodest apparel (he refused a job where the church didn’t want someone that couldn’t put up with a “little immodesty” whatever that is), he preaches the “plain vanilla” truth on divorce and remarriage, he believes Jesus Christ was 100% man and 100% deity while on the earth, he teaches that one must repent to receive forgiveness of sins, he doesn’t stand for the “unity in diversity” error or any of the other “wrong” positions talked about these days.

This gospel preacher has asked some “pillars of the church” about congregations that are “looking for preachers.” He has been told that, in all honesty, he probably just wouldn’t work out at most of those places. This gospel preacher has gone to some congregations and preached in hopes of being offered the job. It hasn’t “worked out.”

By now you must either think I am lying, have some bad information, or am crazy. I am none of these things. Why then would such a man have such a hard time finding a congregation to work with? It seems like there would be a line at his doorstep.

My gospel preacher friend is black. Wonder if that has anything to do with it?

I deny that there are “a number of churches, large and small, now looking for preachers.” There well may be a number of churches looking for white preachers. Maybe we should consider the racial prejudice log in our own eye before standing condemned at judgment. It takes more than talking a good game about loving one another to be pleasing to the King. We shall be known by our fruits.

Guardian of Truth XL: No. 14, p. 10
July 18, 1996

Do You Really Want To Go To Heaven

By Bruce Reeves

I believe it is possible to become so wrapped up in our day to day activities that we lose sight of the purpose of our lives as Christians, namely the attainment of heaven. If we miss heaven, anything we may accomplish on this earth will pale in comparison. Heaven is a prepared place for a prepared people. Let us examine some of the characteristics of heaven as we ask this wonderful question, “Do You Really Want To Go To Heaven?”

There Will Be No Sin in Heaven

“And there shall in no wise enter into it anything that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb’s book of life” (Rev. 21:27). The characteristics of sin are diametrically opposed to the very things that make heaven so desirable.

We do not bear the spiritual con-sequences of anyone’s sin but our own. But we do suffer the physical consequences of sin on the earth. Sometimes the question is asked, “If God is such a loving being, why is there any such thing as death, sickness, or pain?” Who decided it was God’s fault? When God first created the earth such was not the case. When did such develop? After man sinned and left his fellowship with God, Adam introduced physical death into the world by sinning. As a result of such, the things that produce death, sickness, and pain came into existence be-cause man left the purposes of his Creator.

The wonderful thing about heaven is that there will be no sin there. All the things that plague humanity will be vanquished by the grace of God. Thanks be to God which giveth us the victory!

Fellowship With God Will Be the Sustenance For Its Inhabitants

“And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be with them, and be their God … And I saw no templetherein: for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are the temple of it. And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof … And the gates of it shall not be shut at all by day: for there shall be no night there” (Rev. 21:3, 22, 23, 25).

The most horrifying thought to us ought to be that of spiritual death. We know that physical death is the separation of the spirit from the body. Spiritual death is separation from God. Think about that? Everything good, pure, comforting, and beautiful is connected with a relationship with Jehovah. Spiritual death means we are cut off from all hope for the future and any good thing.

Are you beginning to see why spiritual things should take priority over physical things. Our relationship with our Lord must be the most important relation-ship to us. If we do not put any emphasis on our relationship with Christ now, why should we be privileged to enjoy such a relationship in the hereafter?

Only the Faithful Will Be There

Those who have disobeyed will not be there. Those who were indifferent toward spiritual matters will not be there. Only those who were willing to partake of the water of life will see the glory of heaven. Yes, only those who have obeyed the commandments of the Lord will have access to the tree of life. “Blessed are they that do His commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life . . .” (Rev. 22:14).

What Will We Do in Heaven?

I do not know what all we will be doing in heaven, but I do know we will not be dormant and inactive. “. . . and His servants shall serve Him” (Rev. 22:3). We will be involved in worshiping, adoring, and glorifying God for eternity. Brethren, if we do not enjoy worshiping God and having fellowship with one another, we are not fit for heaven. I just wonder if some of us would even be happy if we made it there with the attitude we seem to have about worshiping God and about one another?

If the only folks we associate with are worldly and fleshly minded, what makes us think we are going to be fitted to commune for eternity with our brethren. We must work to prepare ourselves for that glory land above.

As we look at our hope of heaven what a wonderful scene our faith affords us. Yes, there is one eternal day coming when we shall be with our Savior in all his splendor and majesty. It will be in that moment that God shall wipe away all tears and pain from our souls, that all the mysteries shall be revealed, that we shall trade our crosses for crowns, and the joy of our salvation will fill our spirits in a way we never imagined possible. Yes, heaven will surely be worth it all!

Guardian of Truth XL: No. 14, p. 8-9
July 18, 1996