Truth Magazine

By Royce U. Deberry

Today, much is said of those who are “less fortunate” than us. Usually, when we use this phrase, we are refer-ring to those who are physically or mentally handicapped, or those who are homeless, or those out of work, or those who are financially deprived, or a host of others. However, I believe there is a large group (and it seems to be growing by leaps and bounds) that is truly “less fortunate”  the orphans and/or the fatherless.

However, considering there is nothing new under the sun, we must realize that this problem existed in Bible times. Much is said in both the Old Testament and the New Testament about orphans (or the fatherless). Note the following passages  Deuteronomy 14:28-29; 24:17,19-22; Proverbs 23:10; Lamentations 5:1-3; Jeremiah 22:3; Psalms 82:3; 68:5; 10:14; Isaiah 10:1-3; Hebrews 12:8-9; James 1:27. If God devoted that much time and space to a particular subject, it must be important.

In the wonderful wisdom of God, he provided a way by which children could be brought into this world. When a man and a woman come together in the marriage relationship, and a child is conceived, both are responsible for this act. And by the way, both are responsible to see that this child is cared for, provided for, trained and nurtured; not only in the physical aspects, but more importantly, in the spiritual needs. Some have concluded today, that the mother is the only one who plays an iatrical part in the child’s life, but this is not true. It is true that the mother has an important role to play in the life of the child, but so does the father. From a biblical perspective, the father’s role is just as important and weighty. It is the father’s responsibility to provide for the family, to be the head of the house, to guide and direct the home, to be a steadying influence, and to set a godly example (1 Tim. 5:8; Eph. 5:23; 6:4; Col. 3:21). God holds the father responsible as the head of the household. No one can do the father’s job as effectively as the father.

When we think of an orphan today, we think of a child that has neither father or mother. But in the biblical sense, more often it referred to one that was fatherless. There are several ways by which a child can be orphaned or become fatherless: by the death of the father, or irresponsibility and lack of commitment, or by divorce. The last two ways are the most terrible and devastating. With these two ways, the load is usually altogether shifted upon the shoulders of the mother and sometimes upon the children themselves.

And then there are children who are fatherless when their father is alive, well and living with them. He may be there in person, but not in spirit. He may provide food, shelter, and clothing, but he fails to teach, instruct, and discipline them. Paul in Hebrews 12:8-9 says that a child who is not disciplined by his father is actually fatherless. How terrible, to have a father who is no father. Look around us in the world, we have many of these.

In Old Testament times, God was concerned with and made provisions for the fatherless. The children of Israel were to tithe and the Levites, the sojourner, the widow, and the fatherless were to benefit (Deut. 14:28-29). When they would reap the harvest, they were to leave some for the sojourners, the widows, and the fatherless (Deut. 24:19-22). The fatherless were not to be denied justice (Deut. 24:17). They were not to be defrauded of what God had given to them (Prov. 23:10). The fatherless were not to be oppressed nor deprived of kindness or compassion (Zech. 7:8-10). Surely God was manifesting his love, kindness, and protection for the fatherless.

Likewise in New Testament times, although there are not as many Scripture references as in the Old Testament, God continued the principle of showing mercy, compassion, and protection to those who were truly less fortunate. We should be impressed with the “needs” of the father-less. All children have many needs as they proceed toward independence and adulthood. Those of us who had loving and caring fathers realize how much they gave and contributed to our development. Our needs were recognized and fulfilled. We need to count the many blessings that were bestowed upon us, and then follow the teaching of Jesus, “All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them” (Matt. 7:12).

Most of us are acquainted with the teaching of Jesus in Luke 10:25-37 concerning the Good Samaritan. But knowledge of and/or the ability to quote from memory this passage is of little value without application. We can make application of this wonderful teaching when it comes to the fatherless. Look around you . . . there are the fatherless in the church, in our neighborhoods, in our towns and cities . . . quite liter-ally, they are everywhere. The doing of God’s law is connected with inheriting eternal life. There is something we must do in order to manifest our love for our fellowman. Love is more than words, it must be proved by our actions (1 John 3:18). Remember Jesus’ conclusion: “Go, and do thou likewise” (Luke 10:37). Yes, there is something we must do for the fatherless.

In James 1:27, James says, “Pure religion and undefiled before our God and Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows, in their affliction, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” We tend to understand the Scriptures in light of modern day definitions. To many today visit means to stop in, check on them, chat with them, and see them for a short period of time. But actually it means to take care of their needs, what they might be lacking. It might entail providing food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities. Also, it may require us to give more than just money or things; we may have to give of our self and our time. But is that not what serving our fellow man is all about  giving ourself to them and for their good.

Children learn by example. In a world filled with substitutions for the home God intended (one husband and one wife raising their children), it is imperative as Christians we live lives in a way that the fatherless of our world can see the proper example. They need to see this to have an example in their life of a home as God would have it.

Just as Jesus “advanced in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:52), children today must do the same. But those who are orphaned or fatherless are at a disadvantage. It may not be the responsibility of the church, but it is the individual Christian’s responsibility (Gal. 6:10). Therefore, we must be aware of those around us and seek an opportunity to aid them. We must help them to grow physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. Remember the words of Jesus, “Go, and do thou likewise.”

Guardian of Truth XLI: 12 p. 18-19
June 19, 1997

By Hiram Hutto

“Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Ps. 127:3) and as such should be considered gifts from God who have been placed in our hands to mold and fashion into worth-while citizens in his kingdom. Thus is laid on us the responsibility to “train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). Note the word “train.” Far too many times this is thought to be accomplished simply by telling how to act, etc. However, even a dictionary recognizes that such is not the case. It says, “to bring to a desired standard of efficiency or condition or behavior, etc. by instruction and practice” (Oxford American Dictionary).

Telling is definitely important. “These words, which I command thee this day, shall be upon thy heart; thou shalt teach them diligently to thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deut. 6:6-7). But practice and application are also required. This can be seen even in secular matters. One may attend school where he is told the information he needs, but then he needs on-the-job training, and some are hired as trainees. He needs the experience. Churches have training classes in which instruction is given, but training is gained by practice and experience.

This is brought out in the New Testament in Ephesians 6:4. It says, “And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” There are several important points made in this passage:

1. Of utmost importance is the expression “of the Lord.” This has religious and spiritual application. It is “the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6). It is not just nurture and admonition, but is nurture and admonition of the Lord.

2. The synonyms nurture and admonition are not easily defined but most seem to agree that the word “nurture” deals with training by act and discipline and the expression “admonition” is training by word (Expositor’s Greek Testament). In his discussion of paideai (nurture) Thayer says: “1. the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now re-proof and punishment).”

3. Usually we husbands leave this to mothers, but in doing so we have neglected the fact that the passage explicitly gives this to the father! Thus, it is his responsibility to do the “nurture and admonition.” He can do this by reading the Bible and Bible stories to and with his children and enabling them to make application of its truth to various aspects of life. He doesn’t merely tell them but helps them in preparing their Bible class lessons. He is involved in training them when he sees to it that they go with him to church services and participate as much as possible in its activities. It is his responsibility that they are taught the word of God, to train them in proper behavior, and when needed he is to administer discipline, correction, and punishment, as he “chastens them betimes” (Prov. 13:24). If a father is not actively involved in this, he is neglecting his role as father. Thus he is the principal trainer of his children.

To be sure, his wife has a part in this. She is told to “guide (or rule, ASV) the home” (1 Tim. 5:14). Nevertheless, “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is head of the church” (Eph. 5:23). So, in addition to being involved in the actual teaching and training, it is his responsibility and God has given him the authority to see that all such, though done by others, is done properly. The following quotation from the Pulpit Commentary brings this out very well. In discussing the synonyms “nurture” and “ad-monition, it says, “It is difficult (but apparently impossible) to get words in the English language to represent the two words that are in the Greek original. They are in a general way to be distinguished as discipline by power and discipline by reason . . . It is rather all that drilling which a parent gives his children in virtue of the executive (magisterial) power which is placed in him. He has certain rules by which he goes in training his children, and he has got the power to enforce them. He makes them say `grace before meat’ that they may learn betimes from whom all table comforts come. He makes them attend to their lessons, that they may know that they have got to work and not be idlers. He makes them be selective as to their companion-ships, that they may not get out in evil associations. He appoints certain hours for the house, that they may learn order and punctuality. He does not ask them if they will go to church, but he makes them go to church with him. That is the kind of drilling that is meant here, and when it is necessary it must be backed up by chastening, or judicious punishment for good.” It is interesting that in discussing admonition it says, “It is not necessary that a parent should always explain to a child the reasons of his procedure. But it is important that, as a rule, children should have explained to them the evil of the course they are asked to avoid, and the advantages of the course they are asked to follow.” Again observe that the text places the responsibility to do this on the fathers.

The wording of this may seem somewhat harsh, but re-member the same verse (Eph. 6:4) lets us know that it is to be administered in such a way as not to provoke the children to wrath.

Conclusion

It seems fair to say that, in this regard, the Bible shows:

1. Children need the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

2. This involves much more than mere telling; it requires training.

3. God has specifically given this responsibility to fathers.

Guardian of Truth XLI: 12 p. 12-13
June 19, 1997

By Ron Roberts

Once a week I visit a young Christian man in jail. Al-most four years ago he got his girlfriend pregnant. He decided not to many her because she was not a Christian. This young man neglected his daughter financially and otherwise. He is now serving a three-year prison term or not paying child support. Although he has repented of his sins, he will never be able to reverse his choices, change his record, or remove the consequences of those poor choices. He will probably never be a significant influence in his daughter’s life. She has already lived three years without a father in the home.

Some believe a father’s absence is devastating to a son, but not nearly as difficult to a daughter. Why not? Do fathers not have a role in rearing daughters? Is there no contribution I can make to my two daughters by being home? Titus 2:4-5 tells us that aged women are supposed to teach younger women a number of important truths. Does this command remove the father’s responsibility to teach his daughters? Ephesians 6:4 applies to all our children. There are some things that the older women cannot teach our little girls nearly as well as their fathers can.

Fathers can teach their daughters about men from a man’s perspective. I understand the male ego, the male sex drive, and his need for accomplishment as well as any-one. I can warn my daughters about immodest clothing even better than my wife can. I know what tempts men and what they think when they see a woman who is dressed improperly. I wonder if David failed to warn his daughter, Tamar, about the male sex drive (I Sam. 13:1-21). Perhaps Jacob did not share this knowledge with Dinah either (Gen. 34:1-31). Both of these women were sexually violated without provocation. Tamar and Dinah were perfectly virtuous in their behavior. If the male urge is so strong without being teased, imagine how strong it becomes when enticed.

Although the Bible does not contain many examples of fathers and daughters, we do have a couple in the Old Testament. Judges 11 tells us about Jephthah. To solicit God’s help in a battle against Ammon he vowed a foolish vow. He would offer a burnt sacrifice of the first thing that exited his house upon his return (30-31). He was devastated when his daughter came out after the victory. Jephthah and his daughter both agreed that a vow to the Lord should not be disregarded (34-36). She was given two months to mourn over her virginity (37-38). I believe that her grief was because she would never marry and have children. Her father’s vow mined her future.

A second example is that of Lot. He chose to move his family to Sodom when he and Abraham parted company. Lot put his children in the midst of the worst influence that could be found. When angels came into Lot’s home, the men of the city demanded they be brought out for sex. Lot offered his two virgin daughters to the men instead (Gen. 19:4-8). Although the angels rescued Lot from this episode, they could not save his daughters from the influence of evil. These heavenly visitors had come to get Lot’s family out of town before the cities of the plain were destroyed.

Some believe Lot had just two daughters. They conclude that the sons-in-law that Lot tried to convince to leave were betrothed to these two virgins (Gen. 19:14). Others believe he had four or more daughters. A plurality of his girls had already married men of Sodom. If this was true, then Lot could not rescue his married daughters unless he convinced their husbands to depart. One of the most powerful lessons we need to learn as fathers is that we will someday lose our girls to their husband’s authority. We must teach them what to look for in a man, and we must place them in an environment where such a proper man can be found.

Lot’s wife died as she was leaving the city. The two virgin daughters feared their father would have no heirs as they were living alone in the mountains. Consequently they got their father drunk and committed incest with him. Lot had gotten his daughters out of Sodom, but he could not get Sodom out of his daughters.

If a daughter grows up without a dad, she will view men as unreliable. If a father abuses her, she will fear men. If her father is a weakling, she will marry in order to dominate her husband. If a father makes decisions without considering the family, a daughter will believe all men are selfish. But if a father rears his daughter according to God’s word, then she will learn that she has value. She will marry a man who appreciates God and loves her for her virtues. Fathers, we are important to the present and future happiness of our daughters. Let’s guide them toward the joy to be found in this life but more importantly toward the blessedness that is beyond this life.

Guardian of Truth XLI: 12 p. 17-18
June 19, 1997

The following sums up the life of a parent. It also gives us an insight on how we should treat our children, and how valuable each and every child is to us.

Blessed are the parents who make their peace., *fit spilled milk and mud, for such is the kingdom of childhood.

Blessed is the parent who engages not in the comparison of his child with others, for precious unto each is the rhythm of his own growth.

Blessed are the fathers and mothers who have learned laughter, for it is the music of the child’s world.

Blessed and wise are those parents who understand the goodness of time, for they make it not a sword that kills growth, but a shield to protect.

Blessed and mature are they who without anger can say no, for comforting to the child is the security of firm decisions.

Blessed is the gift of consistency, for it is heart’s ease in childhood.

Blessed are they who accept the awkwardness of growth, for they are aware of the constant perilous choice between marred furnishings and damaged personalities.

Blessed are the teachable, for knowledge brings understanding, and understanding brings love.

Bless are the men and women who, in the midst of the unpromising world, give love, for they low the greatest of all gifts to each other, to their children, and  in an ever widening circle  to their fellow men.

Marion Kinneman

Guardian of Truth XLI: 12 p. 5
June 19, 1997