Speaking Smooth Things About . . . Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage

By Donnie V. Rader

This special issue gives evidence that there is a trend towards softening the gospel message. As society and the religious world move in a more liberal direction, we too are affected. In that effort to be more tolerant, some have made the gospel message more palatable by “smoothing it out” in various ways.

What the Bible says about marriage, divorce and remarriage has not been exempt from this approach. A softened or smoother version of what the Lord taught on this subject would obviously be more acceptable to the masses. This is not to say that those who teach some of the ideas discussed below have that as their motive.

What Does The Word Say?

1. The text. Jesus said, “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matt. 19:9). Though other passages address the subject, this one well summarizes what the Bible teaches on divorce and remarriage.

2. What does the text say about divorce? When Jesus was asked whether a man could divorce his wife for any reason (Matt. 19:3), he answered no. Though he didn’t give a “yes” or “no” reply, the reasons he cited point to that conclusion (vv. 4-6). The only reason for divorce given by the Lord is “fornication” (v. 9; cf. Matt. 5:32). Divorce for any other cause is without biblical authority.

3. What does the text say about remarriage? Jesus said that the man who puts away his wife (for a cause other than fornication) and marries another commits adultery. In that same text Jesus said that a man who puts away his wife (for fornication) and marries another does not commit adultery. In the second clause of our text, Jesus said that the one who is put away commits adultery when he remarries.

4. What does that demand? If we teach what Jesus taught in Matthew 19:9, our message will not always be “smooth” to the ears of our listeners. Those who divorce for causes other than fornication will be pricked by what Jesus said. Those who remarry contrary to what Jesus authorized will be disturbed. Those living in adultery must cease their sin of adultery (separate from an unlawful mate) to conform to what Jesus said (cf. Mark 6:17-18). That would be anything but easy (cf. Ezra 10:9-10, 44). The Lord’s message is not a soft and smooth gospel.

How Are Men Speaking Smooth Things About Divorce And Remarriage?

1. Not teaching on divorce and remarriage at all. Those who just avoid the subject, whether it be because they think it to be too controversial or because they are afraid of the consequences, have softened the gospel message by leaving that part out. Some men, because their position differs from many in the congregation, will agree not to teach on divorce and remarriage. While they may not be teaching error, they are not teaching the truth. The whole counsel is not being preached (Acts 20:27). At least part of the word is not being preached (2 Tim. 4:1-2). Those who sit at the feet of such men may never hear the truth about divorce and remarriage.

2. Encouraging divorce for any cause. The permanence of marriage that the Bible teaches is not popular. When some brother encourages divorce (teaches that it is scriptural) for causes other than fornication (as long as one does not remarry), he makes the message more acceptable to those who do not respect the fact that marriage is for life. That is a smoother message for the couple that fuss and fight all the time and want out of their marriage. God’s law does not authorize it.

3. Teaching that the guilty party can remarry. The Lord’s instructions (Matt. 19:9) allow one to put his mate away for fornication and remarry. Some brethren teach that the one who has been put away for fornication (“guilty party”) can also scripturally remarry. That is a smooth message to the ears for the guilty party, because Jesus never authorized it. In fact, Jesus said, “and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matt. 19:9b).

4. Allowing some put away people to remarry. Some argue that the one who has been put away (for a cause other than fornication) can remarry if the former mate remarries first. Others argue that if one is put away by a mate who has committed fornication, he can remarry. Neither of these is authorized by the Lord. In contrast, Jesus said, “and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matt. 19:9b; 5:32b; Luke 16:18).

5. Telling the alien sinner he is not amenable to the law of Christ. Even though the gospel (the law of Christ) is for all nations (Matt. 28:19; Mark 16:15) and Jesus applied his teaching to “whosoever” (Matt. 19:9), we are told by some brethren that Christ’s law on marriage only applies to Christians who are married. Thus, non-Christians are neither governed nor judged by what Jesus taught. If one divorces (for whatever cause) and remarries he can continue with the mate he has when he obeys the gospel. He becomes amenable to the law of Christ when he is a Christian. That is a far more convenient message than what the Lord presented in Matthew 19:9.

6. Redefining adultery. When men are allowed to redefine adultery to mean “covenant breaking” (the unscriptural divorce and remarriage) and not the unlawful sexual activity with the second mate, the message of Christ is so much smoother to the ears of those in second or third marriages. That means that if they repent of breaking the covenant with their first mates and determine not to do it again, they can stay together. No lexicon or passage justifies this arbitrary definition of adultery (cf. the use of the term in Matt. 5:28; John 8:4).

7. Speaking of the ambiguity of Matthew 19:9. Some have spoken of the ambiguity of Matthew 19:9. I under- stand their point to be that they are unsure if this text is even authorizing remarriage when divorce is for the cause of fornication. They are quick to suggest that their point is even more “conservative” than what I and others teach on Matthew 19:9. However, my concern about such discussion is that if we convince our hearers that there is ambiguity with Matthew 19:9, they may conclude that we cannot be certain that one who puts away his mate (for some cause other than fornication) and remarries commits adultery. Since we can’t be certain what Jesus was really saying, we would need to tolerate a diversity of doctrines on divorce and remarriage. Let us be content with what Jesus taught.

Let us preach it as it is revealed.

Speaking Smooth Things

By Johnie Edwards

We are warned by apostolic teaching that there will be those, “. . . that serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple” (Rom. 16:18).

The trend today, among a lot of brethren, is to preach and teach in such a way as not to make one feel uncomfortable in the pew and that everybody should be able to leave the assembly only feeling good about themselves!

It is not uncommon to find, in some churches of Christ, the same attitude that prevailed in the thoughts of Israel of old: “Which say to the seers, See not; and to the prophets, Prophesy not unto us right things, speak unto us smooth things, prophesy deceits” (Isa. 30:10).

We hear such things as, “Just preach Jesus and forget about the church”; “we must minister to the whole man; our main focus ought to be grace-righteous and not our own works-righteousness”; “if thou marry, thou hast not sinned” (unqualified); and other such statements.

It is time we get back to, “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season, reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine” (2 Tim. 4:2).

It is to this end that this Special Issue is dedicated. We pray that you will take your Bible, read and study, and if these things be so, get busy obeying and teaching them.

I want to thank all of the writers of these good articles for taking the time to write that all of us might be aware of the “smooth things” which are being taught today!

Quips & Quotes

Notable Quotes

“Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen: Nothing is more destined to create deep-seated anxieties in people than the false assumption that life should be free from anxieties.”

“David J. Wolpe: An old saying has it that there are three things we should not discuss in polite company: sex, politics and religion. We don’t follow this advice when it comes to sex and politics. Sexuality, especially in the context of relationships, is an everyday topic of conversation. Office and national politics are discussed constantly. The third theme alone is missing.

“Next time you’re at a party, try sidling up to someone, drink in hand, and ask, ‘So what do you think about God, anyway?’ You will quickly find yourself alone. Everyone has his or her own ideas about God, we are told. But that is equally true of sex and politics. The truth seems to be that most of us have lost the knack for talking about the deepest issues of life. This lack impoverishes our conversation and, ultimately, our lives as well” (Reader’s Digest [November 1994], 212).

Study Says Faith-healing Caused Untimely Deaths “Chicago — Parents who refuse to seek medical care for their sick children because of religious reasons are essentially dooming the youngsters to untimely deaths, suggests a new study by members of an advocacy group.

“Researchers found that the majority of such children who died could have survived if they had received conventional treatment.

“The report in the April issue of the journal Pediatrics is designed as ammunition for lawmakers opposed to efforts by religious groups to exempt parents who practice faith- healing from laws against homicide and child neglect.

“‘A lot of people believe that this is a freedom of religion issue, but it’s not,’ said Dr. Seth M. Asser of the department of pediatrics at the University of California, San Diego. ‘You can’t be allowed to abuse your children based on your reli- gious beliefs’” (The Indianapolis Star [April 7, 1998], A7).

Jury: Abortion Foes Guilty of Conspiracy

“A jury in Chicago put anti-abortion groups in the same category as mobsters Monday, ruling they violated federal racketeering laws by conspiring to close abortion clinics through violence nationwide.

“The ruling, which critics say could endanger free speech, may cost the movement millions of dollars. “. . . . The lawsuit, filed by the National Organization for Women, was the first nationwide class action suit to use the Racketeer-Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Law, of RICO, against the anti-abortion movement.

“That law, passed in 1970, has been used primarily as a weapon against organized crime. But jurors in this case found that anti-abortion activists Joseph Scheidler, Timothy Murphy and Andrew Scholberg engaged in 21 acts of extortion, including threats of physical violence, to shut down clinics.

“They ruled that Operation Rescue and the Pro-Life Action League played a role.

“The defendants were ordered to pay $85,962 in dam- ages, which will be tripled under RICO. It will go to clinics in Milwaukee and Wilmington, Del., to cover the costs of increased security after they became targets of violence.

“‘They want to bankrupt us,’ said Scheidler, head of the Pro-Life Action League.

“Critics warned that the verdict could affect other groups like environmentalists, labor unions and civil rights activists.

“‘The decision in this case effectively equates freedom of speech with racketeering,’ said Cardinal Francis George of the Chicago Archdiocese. Defense lawyers said the verdict will be appealed” (Carrie Hedges, USA Today [April 21, 1998], 1A).

Rate of Teen-age Births Declines 6th Year in Row “Washington — The percentage of teen-agers having babies declined for the sixth year in a row, falling in every state and the District of Columbia, and among every major racial and ethnic group for the first time, the federal government reported Thursday.

“Although nearly a half-million American teen-agers still give birth every year, the overall rate has fallen 12 percent since 1991. The birth rate for black teen-agers is down 21 percent since the beginning of the decade to the lowest level ever reported.

“The rate for Hispanics, the nation’s fastest-growing minor- ity group, remains the highest, but the new statistics show it falling for the first time, by 4.8 percent from 1995 to 1996” (The Indianapolis Star [May 1, 1998], A16).

Truth Unites

By Steven F. Deaton

The Lord Jesus prayed, “Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth . . . Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me” (John 17:17, 20-21). From this we learn: (1) The word of God is truth; (2) Jesus desires unity among believers; (3) Unity comes through believing the word of God — the truth.

Truth

Earlier in the book of John, the Savior gave comfort to his disciples by informing them of things to come. He told the twelve apostles that he was to leave them, but he would not leave them without help (John 13:36; 14:1-4, 26). They were told that the Spirit of truth, the Holy Spirit, would come and guide them into all truth (John 15:26;

16:13). This truth was recorded and now exists as “the word of truth” — the New Testament (Eph. 1:13; 2 Tim.

2:15; Jas. :18).

Unity

God desires and demands unity among his people. “Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (1 Cor. 1:10). When men are united in the service of the Lord, there is tranquillity and happiness (Ps. 133:1). Likewise, unity sends a strong message to the unbelieving world (John 17:21, 23).

Unity In Truth

Though God desires and demands unity, he does not want it at any price, but in truth (John 17:20-21). Men can be united in error, but this will do them no good concerning their relationship with God. Ananias and Sapphira were united in their deception (Acts 5:1-2, 9). Yes, God mandates that men are to unite, but it is to be based upon the one standard of truth — his word (Phil. 3:16).

Do you desire unity in the truth? If so, won’t you believe, repent of sin, confess Christ, be baptized, and unite with us upon God’s word alone (John 3:16; Acts 3:19; Luke 12:8-9; Acts 2:38)?