The Status Of Divorced Persons

By Leon Mauldin

Who Can Marry?

The Bible teaches that there are three classes of people who are eligible for marriage. One class would be those who have never been married. God’s will from the beginning was, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall be- come one flesh” (Matt. 19:4, 5). A second category would be those whose spouses have died. Paul said, “For the woman that hath a husband is bound by law to the husband while he liveth; but if the husband die, she is discharged from the law of the husband. So then if, while the husband liveth, she be joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if the husband die, she is free from the law, so that she is no adulteress, though she be joined to another man” (Rom. 7:3, 4). The third category is those who have put away their spouses for fornication. Jesus said, “Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery” (Matt. 19:9). These, and only these are eligible to marry. No other persons have the scriptural right to marry.

When we see defined from Scripture those who are not eligible to marry, we have also at the same time learned who is not eligible to date. If one is not free to marry, he is not eligible to date!

Is It Lawful To Divorce If One Doesn’t Remarry?

Just here we need to notice the binding nature of marriage. Sometimes people reason that divorce is not wrong, so long as one does not remarry. But consider 1 Corinthians 7:10-11: “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife” (NKJV). The Lord’s command, the charge (ASV), is, “Don’t divorce.” This is not a passage giving permission to divorce. But the text does address the issue of what to do when divorce has occurred. The text says, “. . . let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband.” The reason these instructions are given can be easily understood in light of our opening paragraph. Reconciliation is desirable, but is not always possible. But remarriage to another is not permitted. If one has put away his spouse for any cause other than fornication, he is not in a position to choose to marry. If one is the “put-away” party in a divorce, he is not scripturally qualified to select another companion. For these persons, another marriage with anyone (with the exception of being reconciled to one’s spouse, 1 Cor. 7:11), is simply not an option that they have!

What About Dating?

There has been good teaching regarding the sinfulness of the un- lawful, adulterous marriage. This is not the thrust of this article. Here is the specific issue we want to deal with: How do divorced persons (those not free to marry) stand in regard to such activities as dating? Actually, an understanding of who is scripturally eligible to marry helps us to see who is eligible to date. Now it is obvious that those whom we saw are scripturally free to marry are also free to date. But what of those who are not eligible to marry? The Bible’s answer is that such are to “remain unmarried.” Of course this means that one cannot contract another marriage. But we are raising a practical question in asking, “Is one who is ineligible to marry in a position to date?” What if one reasons, “I know I can’t remarry, but we’re just friends,” or “I don’t ever plan to marry again, but I need companionship, and I just take her out to have someone to talk to”?

Actually, those who reason in this manner are usually just deceiving themselves. Have you ever noticed that we usually end up marrying someone whom we have dated? The dangers ought to be apparent. One who dates a person who is ineligible for marriage is truly “playing with fire.” The chances are good that he will end up in an unscriptural marriage.

But what if they do not ever marry? Does the dating of divorced persons meet with God’s approval? We again insist that when we see from the Scriptures who is eligible to marry, we have defined for us who is eligible to date. Persons eligible to marry are free to be together, talk, court, and plan (of course with all activities conforming to God’s standard of morals and purity, etc.) because they are in a position to follow through on the fruition of courtship; their relationship may culminate in marriage if they so choose. On the other hand, when we see defined from Scripture those who are not eligible to marry, we have also at the same time learned who is not eligible to date. If one is not free to marry, he is not eligible to date!

Sometimes one who is himself free to marry will be attracted to one who is ineligible. Before long, the two may agree to go on outings of various kinds together. A man needs to recognize that when he is with a woman who has divorced her spouse for any cause other than fornication, or one who has been divorced, he is with another man’s wife. The woman (even if she on her part may be free to marry) who accepts the invitation to go somewhere or do something with a divorced man (i.e., dating), needs to recognize that she is with someone else’s husband.

This truth can be seen clearly enough if we are considering a married couple, two who are living in the marriage relationship and are not divorced. While one may have friends of the opposite gender; married Christians recognize that they are not in a position to date those friends (and of course should not want to). But why would that be wrong? Because they are married, they are not eligible to date. A Christian husband does not, for example, reason, “My wife cannot go with me to the gospel meeting tonight, so I will go by a friend’s (female) house, and take her with me, for companionship, of course.” The very same principle is involved when a divorced person is dating, and going on outings, etc. The one who accompanies him is with someone else’s spouse! Therefore, an unscripturally divorced person may not date for the same reason that a married person may not date. Neither is free to do so; both are ineligible to do so!

While one hopefully has many friends, a spouse who seeks to please God recognizes that there are bounds which he must not cross. For example, a Christian spouse does not take a friend of the opposite sex for an all-day trip to town and arrive back home late in the evening. The issue is not one of whether he may have friends, but rather one of that conduct in which he may properly (before God) en- gage. One who is himself free to marry cannot (with God’s approval) put himself in the above type of situations with divorced persons, because they are not free.

If the idea persists, “I still don’t see anything wrong with divorced persons dating,” we would ask, “Is it possible for it to become wrong at any point short of an adulterous marriage, and if so, at what point?” Is it right if the relationship is “casual,” but wrong if it is “serious”? If so, how serious does it have to become? Would it be steady dating, or engagement, before it became wrong? I believe the relationship becomes wrong when it starts, just as the same relationship would be wrong for married persons.

It would perhaps be appropriate here to also give attention to the “singles” seminars, rallies, classes, etc. While nothing is intrinsically wrong with special studies for singles, we object to the church’s providing opportunities for persons to find companions, with no regard as to whether or not they are eligible for marriage. One brochure I received for a “Single Adult Rally” is typical of advertising of such events. It included the following topics: “Laying Bricks or Throwing Stones,” “Singles, Sex and Sanity,” “Single Parenting: Building a Christian Foundation,” “Single Again,” “ Success or Survival,” “Building Success as a Single Woman,” and “The Body Beautiful.” To be fair, the topics are not necessarily wrong in themselves. But one wonders just what would be taught in that setting on those subjects. But consider also what is not listed. Keep in mind that this “rally” will include those who are “single-again” without distinction as to why one is single again (i.e., regardless of whether or not one has a scriptural divorce). Yet the listing of topics does not include, “A Discussion of Matthew 19:9,” or “What the Bible Teaches Regarding Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage,” or “It Is Not Lawful For Thee To Have Her.” To the extent that such programs for singles involve a compromise of truth regarding God’s marriage law we stand opposed to them. To the extent that they provide opportunities for “companionship” and dating for those who are not scripturally free to marry, they are in violation of the Word of God.

If you are free to marry, you still have to make some choices regarding whom you will date. Restrict your dating to those who are eligible to marry. Don’t date anybody that is not a proper subject for marriage. We would encourage you to be a faithful Christian and marry a faithful Christian. If you are divorced (unscripturally) you need to recognize your standing: If you are not free to marry, you are not free to date!

Playing “Follow the Preacher”

By Richie Thetford

Since last August our adult class has journeyed through the pages of the Old Testament from Joshua to Esther. In that journey one thing stands out above anything else and that is for the most part the children of God were obedient to God when their chosen leader followed God. There were Joshua, Samuel, Saul, David, Solomon, Asa, Jehoshaphat, Joash, Amaziah, Uzziah, Jotham, Hezekiah, and Josiah. When all of these individuals dedicated themselves to serving God, then the people followed after them and served God also. During all this period of time the children of Israel drifted in and out of faithfulness to Almighty God, as their leaders changed in name and heart.

Then two other individuals came on the scene, both determined to serve God. These two were Ezra and Nehemiah. When the children of God were released from captivity and allowed to return to their land, Ezra came later with the purpose of turning their hearts to God. We read in Ezra 7:10: “For Ezra had prepared his heart to seek the law of the Lord, and to do it, and to teach in Israel statutes and judgments.” Ezra was determined to serve God and to get the children of Israel to do likewise. He preached to the people and turned them from social, moral, and religious degeneracy. The people followed Ezra’s preaching and even disposed of their wives and children that they had no right to. Ezra had turned the people’s hearts to serve the Lord their God — or did he? Were the children of Israel truly worshiping God, or following the commands and teachings of Ezra because of the man?

Later we read about Nehemiah, another great man of God coming to Jerusalem to build the wall that had been destroyed years earlier. He gathered the people together and they were working together to build the wall. When the wall was completed, Ezra came and read to the people the law of God. The people showed great reverence to the law of God and worshiped God Almighty. They even made a covenant unto God to hold true to his statutes and ordinances. We see a people that seems to be devoted to God and following after him. But then Nehemiah leaves Jerusalem and travels back to Babylon. We don’t know how long he was gone but when he returned to Jerusalem the people of God had drifted into apostasy! Nehemiah had to once again restore the people to follow after God.

What can one learn from this? God’s people only seemed to be motivated to serve him when they were happy with the leader that was motivating them to do so! They seemed to be obeying the teacher and not the teachings. God sent individuals such as Ezra and Nehemiah to help his children see the necessity in serving him. God also used many prophets to speak to the people urging them to repent and serve him with all their heart!

Do you know of those today that seem to be following the preacher instead of the teachings of the preacher? Some Christians seem to serve God faithfully as long as they are satisfied with the existing preacher and his work. I know of a case where the preacher left a local work and moved across town to work with another group and one family went with him. There are many cases of Christians that have given up and drifted into unfaithfulness when the local preacher left. Their hearts were not really set on serving God. We are told by Jesus in Mark 12:30: “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.” When all Christians are determined to serve God first and foremost, no matter who the preacher is, then they will be able to adjust to any situation because their trust and loyalty is in God Almighty, not a man! We need to be like Ezra of old and have our hearts set to be determined to serving and obeying God. Let us not attach ourselves to decrees of men (Col. 2:20-

22; 2 Tim. 4:3), but rather to hold fast to all the oracles of God (1 Pet. 4:11)!

The Value of Public Worship

By Connie W. Adams

Christians belong to the Lord all the time. We are his whether at home, at school, at work, at play, on a vacation trip, or wherever we happen to be. There is great value in private study of the Bible, private prayer and meditation. “In his law he meditates day and night” (Ps. 1:1-2). Such continual devotion is a deterrent to sin. “And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as he is pure” (1 John 3:4). “Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You” (Ps. 119:11).

Beyond all that, the Lord in his wisdom has ordained certain activities of a public nature in which his children jointly participate. The most common word translated worship means “to make obeisance, do reverence to” (Vine’s on proskuneo). It is homage paid by the performance of prescribed acts. Finite man would not know what acts of devotion would be acceptable to an infinite being apart from divine revelation. If he attempted such in the absence of such revelation, that would constitute “will worship” (Col. 2:23). That is worship suited to the will of the worshiper rather than to the will of the object of worship. Jesus said that the Father would seek men to “worship Him in spirit and in truth” (John 4:23-24).

There can be no doubt that the early church met publicly to engage in worshipful activities. “And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers” (Acts 2:42). They were “continuing daily with one accord in the temple” (Acts 2:46). At Antioch, Barnabas and Saul “for a whole year . . . assembled with the church and taught a great many people” (Acts 11:26). At Troas the disciples “came together to break bread” and while there heard Paul preach (Acts 20:7). At Corinth a disciplinary matter was to be carried out “when you are gathered together” (1 Cor. 5:4). Paul spoke of their public gathering to eat the Lord’s supper. “When you come together as a church. . .” (1 Cor. 11:18). He wanted their coming together to be for the better and not for the worse (v. 17). He wrote of “the whole church” coming together “in one place” (1 Cor. 14:23). In that context he wrote of singing, praying, and teaching and said, “Let all things be done for edification” (v. 26). Singing together was calculated to teach and admonish one another (Col. 3:16).

Christians have a mutual responsibility to “consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the day approaching” (Heb. 10:24-25).

Why Is Public Worship Neglected?

The foregoing passages clearly indicate the will of God touching the matter of public worship. Then why is it so often neglected? In every congregation there are some members who view such gatherings as entirely optional. They will go if they have nothing else to do. They will be absent because of ball practice, extra-curricular school functions, family reunions, or family holiday gatherings. Some think that vacations exempt them from seeking out and meeting with faithful brethren on the Lord’s Day. Some who are careful to attend a Sunday morning service will skip other opportunities to worship the same God and learn more of his word.

Why is this? There are some things to be done on a weekly basis. When Jesus instituted the Lord’s supper, he said, “This do in remembrance of me” (1 Cor. 11:25). The practice of the early church was to do this “upon the first day of the week” (Acts 20:7). On that day Christians were to “lay by in store” so that collective work of the church could be done (1 Cor. 16:1-2). Other ordained worship activities may be done at other times (teaching, singing, and praying). When a Christian chooses not to meet on the first day of the week to break bread and lay by in store, he has chosen to violate a clear directive from the Lord. Jesus said, “This do,” but you say, “No, I have company” or “No, I don’t want to do that today. We are going to a family gathering, or on a picnic, or to an amusement park.”

Such behavior is rebellion against the Lord of Glory. It places the convenience of the worshiper above the true object of worship — the God of the universe. It reveals a lack of true conviction. In essence it says, “I know what the Lord said, but I think. . .” If that isn’t will worship. then what is? “Oh Lord I know the way of man is not in himself; It is not in man who walks to direct his own steps” (Jer. 10:23). It places human wisdom above divine wisdom.

It further ignores the mutual responsibilities Christians have toward one another. We draw strength from each other. We all live in a society which is becoming increasingly secular and in which godly principles are held up to ridicule. We need each other. Our children need the influence of godly parents who see the need for regular, consistent worship of the Almighty and who are willing to keep their priorities straight. Weak Christians need the worthy ex- ample of those who are truly committed to the Lord.

Yes, sometimes it requires great effort. The responsibilities of jobs, families, and other social demands are taxing of strength and energy. But I remind you that it was not easy for our Lord to leave his heavenly existence, take the form of a servant, suffer the toils of a peasant existence, and then to endure the indignities of his trials and then the agony of the cross. What if he had gone to a family reunion that day? What if that would have made him miss a great sporting event? What if he was just too tired and that was his only day off?

I tell you, when we get our genuine convictions in line, we will see the need for public worship. The Lord requires it for our good. We need it. Our fellow Christians need it. The world needs to see an example of people who truly believe and whose convictions are not for sale, even for the sake of their own convenience.

The Intolerance of Liberalism

By Mike Willis

In March, Reggie White, a pro-bowl defensive end who most recently played for the Green Bay Packers and who will probably be a Hall of Famer, caused quite a stir when he spoke at the Wisconsin State Assembly. He spoke about homosexuality as a sin saying that homosexuality is “one of the biggest sins” in the Bible. He continued, “Homosexuality is a decision. It’s not a race. . . . People from all different ethnic backgrounds live in this lifestyle. But people from all different ethnic backgrounds also are liars and cheaters and malicious and back-stabbers.”

The news reporters zeroed in on his statement, condemning him for his judgmental statements. When he was interviewed on 20/20, White did not back down. He said, “I am going to speak the truth. . . . If people think that’s a contradiction and that’s hate, they need to take them up with God, not with Reggie White.”

The response to White’s statement has been interesting. Although Nike and Edge Gel continue to use him as their spokesman, Campbell Soup let White’s endorsement contract expire days after the statement. CBS had a job offer on White’s desk for him to be a football analyst for the network. Although the job was practically in the bag, CBS Sports withdrew the job offer.

The interesting thing about this is that those promoting acceptance of the gay lifestyle insist that we should tolerate alternative lifestyles. Yet, the Christian lifestyle, with its moral beliefs, is not tolerated. It is condemned by those preaching tolerance. If White’s contract had been withdrawn because he announced that he was homosexual, the civil rights activists would have been up in arms because of CBS Sports’ action. But when CBS mistreats one who openly espouses his Christian beliefs, his job offer is withdrawn and no one raises an eyebrow. Make no mistake about, American culture is moving toward persecution of Christians.

We Are In A War

Christianity has been presented in most denominations in such terms that its militancy has been removed. The denominations are preaching about love in sentimental terms (not agape love), substituting pop psychology for the gospel, and employing entertainment groups to draw a crowd. However, the crowd is composed of people who believe anything.

A few years ago, one of the denominations was revising its songbook and decided to remove “Onward Christian Soldiers” because of its militancy. The truth is that people, including some among us, would remove all references to Christian warfare from our Bible. But consider these texts:

Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses (1 Tim. 6:12).

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith (2 Tim. 4:7).

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching there- unto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints (Eph. 6:10-18).

Our adversary, the Devil, goes about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (1 Pet. 5:8). The serpent of Revelation 12, frustrated in his attempt to destroy the child (Christ), turns its assault against the children  of the woman “which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ” (Rev. 12:17). These passages and many others emphasize that we are in a war! At issue is not only the future of our country and the future of the church in America, but more importantly, our souls!

Those who are pressing to change the moral values of America have no qualms of conscience about preventing a Reggie White from having a job because of his beliefs about homosexuality. They will close every door of opportunity for him they can just as they did the same for Anita Bryant. We are in a war!

These are the same forces at work who will use statutes aimed at destroying the Mafia to stifle peaceful protests at abortion clinics. The same ones who defended those who marched in the streets and burned buildings to promote the civil rights agenda will use the law to silence those who oppose abortion! We are in a war!

Those who are preaching tolerance are most intolerant!

The Warfare in the Church

Make no mistake about this warfare. Its proponents have influence in the Lord’s church. Those who are saying that we should tolerate the preaching of diverse doctrines about divorce and remarriage work to cut off the support and close doors of opportunity for preaching for those who oppose these loose views on divorce and remarriage. Those who preach tolerance are very intolerant people! We are in a war!

One can watch the lectureships that are held around the country and see the intolerance. Those who have been outspoken in opposing the view that places divorce and remarriage in Romans 14 are not invited. How ironic! Those who claim that Romans 14 allows for “significant moral and doctrinal differences” have no room to tolerate those who differ with their interpretation of Romans 14. Those who preach tolerance are very intolerant people! We too are in a war!

Conclusion

The “toleration” movement is just another ploy of the Devil to desensitize us in our battle against sin. If we can tolerate homosexuality, although we are not “gay,” then we grant it acceptability and make those who oppose it “homophobic.” If we can tolerate the preaching of loose doctrines on divorce and remarriage, although we do not believe them, we grant them acceptability and picture those who oppose those loose doctrines as loose cannons, spiritual zealots who are a greater threat to the church than those who preach their loose doctrines on divorce and remarriage. Shades of Reggie White!