By Diana Dow
Synopsis: Socialization is often used as an argument against homeschooling. It is argued that children must learn from society how to behave in society. God sees it differently. He designed the family to socialize the children.
Even in the womb, a baby is learning to socialize. The baby is listening. He hears his mother’s voice and feels calm. Soon he hears his father’s voice, his rambunctious siblings, his grandfather’s laugh. He is learning the voices of those who love him. He is being socialized.
On the day of his birth, amidst the strange voices of midwives, nurses, and doctors, he hears a familiar voice. The soothing voice of his mother as she cradles him in her arms. He is calm. He is comfortable. He is safe. Then another familiar voice appears. He turns his head in the direction of the strong, deep voice and sees the face of his father. He makes a physical and an emotional connection with the two most important people in his life. He is being socialized.
As the child grows, he feels comfort and love when those around him respond to his needs. He learns to trust. Through the years, he will be introduced to new experiences, new people, new environments.
With mom and dad (and possibly a gaggle of siblings) by his side, he learns how to respond appropriately in various situations. He learns to control his emotions, to respect those in authority, to play with others, to be responsible for his own belongings and respectful of the belongings of others. He is being socialized.
According to Britannica, socialization is “the process whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the group (or society).” Much has been said about socialization in the home-school setting. In fact, until recently, it was the number one reason many objected to the idea of homeschooling. With the degradation of values in our society, the age-old question “What about socialization?” is asked less often. Nevertheless, those who oppose homeschooling still insist that a child as young as five must be in a school setting to be properly socialized. After all, how can a child learn to “behave in a manner approved” by society if he is not taught by that society?
The Bible tells us that God has given this great responsibility of socialization to the parents. The father is commanded to teach/discipline his children (Eph. 6:4). He will instill faith through knowledge and wisdom that will, in turn, produce the courage and strength necessary for the growing child to navigate life. The mother has been instructed to love her children (Titus 2:4). Through her love, her children will learn to love, to show empathy, and to serve others. She will tell her children stories of faith and courage from the Bible and other sources, offering them a glimpse into the lives of people from all walks of life. This is God’s plan: for the family to socialize the children.
Wise parents will introduce their children to a variety of situations. Their children will experience people of all ages, abilities, and backgrounds, yet with the same faith and values as they worship in their home congregation. Their children will learn how to respond to those with unique needs and from diverse cultures as they tag along on various family errands and social events. Their children will learn to respect authority as they see their parents doing the same. The children are being socialized naturally.
Separating socialization from the family creates a false environment where character building and behavior training are taken out of context. Placing a 10-year-old in a class of 10-year-olds is an unnatural setting. Only during the school years is one expected to be in an age-specific environment. By setting up this false scenario, it becomes necessary to invent ways to teach a child to respond appropriately in different situations. He must learn socialization in theory from a textbook with a teacher who may not hold to the truths found in God’s word. With socialization curriculum changing at the whim of society, we are left with dysfunction and chaos.
The “what about socialization” question implies that the family cannot properly socialize children. Yet, as we can see from God’s word, that is not what He planned at all. The family is the center of the child’s life. If parents choose to seek help from the neighborhood school, that is their choice to make, but they must never consider their children socialized because they attend school. Parents are and always will be responsible for socializing their children, just as God has planned.
