By Chris Reeves
Summary: Young people today live in a culture that constantly pressures them to look inward and be selfish, and they need to be reminded to deny themselves and serve others.
I wrote this article one week after getting back from a preaching trip to Ghana, Africa. While there, I noticed something very interesting. In the Ghana culture, children are taught from a very early age to help others around them, especially the elderly. On a daily basis, it is very common to see young people helping others by carrying various objects for them. They do this especially for the elderly. Many times while I was there, the young people would carry my briefcase bag for me. I would try to carry it myself and a young person would quickly take it from me. This was surprising to me. We do not have this practice or habit in our culture. If you don’t believe me, the next time you pick up something, see if a young person comes to your aid to carry it for you.
When I have the opportunity to mentor the youth of our day, I say kindly to them that there is a need for them to be less selfish and more selfless. Our youth have a great potential for service to Jesus and others. Our youth are smart and talented. They are full of life. Nevertheless, I also see a lot of selfishness in our youth today. Selfishness is simply the attitude of being concerned with one’s own interests at all costs, above the interests of others. Our culture promotes narcissism and egotism, and our young people are the unfortunate casualties of it all.
Today, young people have their phone, and that’s all they need. They look at their phone and are wrapped up in their social media, and they don’t have time for anyone else. I’ve seen many youths looking at their phone and walking right by others without speaking to them. They know their phone, but they don’t know their Bible. They can operate all their phone apps, but they don’t know to operate a basic appliance or piece of machinery. They have time for their phone (and maybe some schooling), but not for others.
There is so much in our culture today that is pressuring our young people to be selfish. Sometimes they get it in school, from their friends, or at home. They definitely get it on social media. Social media is full of the focus on self. Social media is often about the way you look, the “likes” that you get from others, the instant feed-back you get, the praise you get, etc.
I would remind our young people of the basic Bible principle of self-denial. Jesus wants us to deny ourselves and come follow Him (Matt. 10:33; 16:24; Luke 9:23). Self-denial is the beginning of being a godly Christian. However, our culture is pushing and pressuring young people to think of self only. It is the selfishness in people that leads to troubling times. Remember, “lovers of self” stand at the head of the list of things that lead to grievous and troubling times (2 Tim. 3:2). We are certainly witnessing these troubling times today in America. Elders are not to be “self-willed” (Titus 1:7), and yet many young people are conditioning their lives to be just that. They are more like the “self-willed” false teachers of 2 Peter 2:10.
The problem of selfishness in a young person, of course, begins at home. We are not born selfish, but we learn early on to be selfish. Many parents are raising selfish children. So, I would counsel our young people who truly love the Lord and want to go to heaven to note the following Bible passages and commit them to memory. Maybe you could make a list of these verses and keep them in your room to look at regularly. Consider these verses from the New American Standard Version:
Do not eat the bread of a selfish person; or desire his delicacies (Prov. 23:6).
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence (Matt. 23:25).
But to those who are self-serving and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, He will give wrath and indignation (Rom. 2:8).
For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith (Rom. 12:3).
For even Christ did not please Himself, but as it is written: “The taunts of those who taunt You have fallen on Me” (Rom. 15:3).
It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered (1 Cor. 13:5).
And He died for all, so that those who live would no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose on their behalf (2 Cor. 5:15).
For I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you to be not what I wish, and may be found by you to be not what you wish; that perhaps there will be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, selfishness, slanders, gossip, arrogance, disturbances (2 Cor. 12:20).
. . .idolatry, witchcraft, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions (Gal. 5:20).
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves (Phil. 2:3).
For they all seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus (Phil. 2:21).
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. . . For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing (Jas. 3:14, 16).
I am hearing today that many young people are unhappy. Since the pandemic, there has been a dramatic increase in youth drug abuse and suicide. Many young people are angry, stressed, and violent. They lash out by hurting others and themselves. Many young people are doing poorly in school and others are having troubles at home. Many young people are engaging in crimes against others. What is happening? What we are seeing is the fruit of selfishness. Young people have been conditioned to think of self over others, and, when you have a selfish person, you have an unhappy person. Getting out of self and serving others will make you a happy person.
Would I tell our young people to get rid of their phones? No, I would not. Should they stop using social media? Of course not. These things can be used for good. I know young Christians who are using social media to help spread the gospel. What I would tell our young people is to think more of others. Like we sing in worship, “None of self, and all of thee.” I would tell them to be a “giver,” not just a “taker” (Acts 20:35) and “bear” the burdens of others (Gal. 6:2). Be your “brother’s keeper” (Gen. 4:9). Refresh others and you will be refreshed (Prov. 11:25). Love your neighbor (Mark 12:31). Crucify self (Gal. 2:20). Young people, we need you to be the faithful church of the future, and it begins today with a selfless life.
