By Bobby Graham
Synopsis: How Can I Teach My Friends the Gospel without Offending Them?
How can I teach my friends the gospel without offending them?
You can’t do this if you teach the whole gospel. Jesus didn’t do it either. The apostles also failed to do this. No amount of “friendship” will ever accomplish it. I do not minimize trying to teach our friends using close, trusted relationships that we have cultivated through time, nor do I minimize the importance of “speaking the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15) or being “as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves (Matt. 10:16). Rather, I simply state that it is impossible to teach some people the truth of the gospel without offending them. Not all have the right attitude toward truth. Some have already made up their minds about what they believe, and will not hear or heed the gospel.
In Matthew 10, Jesus sought to prepare His disciples for this eventuality. They preached a simple kingdom message and showed their divine credentials for teaching it (10:5-8). They did not impose their care upon unbelievers (10:9-13). Nevertheless, some still would not accept them (10:14-15). Jesus’s longest comments focused on the likely persecutions they would experience from unbelievers (10:16-31). Despite opposition, He still expected them to confess Him faithfully before men (10:32-33)!
If they had trouble believing Him in these matters, they needed to learn that, by its nature, His teaching would divide people—believers from unbelievers, even in the same family (10:34-39). Some would receive the gospel they proclaimed and receive a reward (10:40-42).
Young and old alike must understand these matters and be duly prepared for rejection. Being prepared also entails the development of humility, meekness/gentleness, perseverance, and love. All of these virtues stand out in the teaching of Jesus in Matthew 10 as He prepared His disciples to teach others, and all of them also stand out in His own efforts to teach people. Jesus gave people the benefit of the doubt when He began teaching them. As He saw later their hardness of heart and stubbornness of will, He grew more pointed in His efforts. Only as a last resort, when making a final appeal, did He use the kind of approach found in Matthew 23. Jude counsels a similar approach for disciples of the Lord, with distinctions depending on attitudes: “On some have compassion, making a distinction; but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh” (vv. 22-23).
I do not intend my beginning words of warning to discourage any from the noble work saving souls. Begin with what they already believe from the Bible, stressing that all must believe everything which the Bible teaches. Move later to areas of dispute or difference. However, never think that you can avoid such entirely. Teach all you can, using all the righteous means you can, in whatever the Bible teaches on any matter, so you can take as many to heaven with you as possible.
