By Art Adams
Synopsis: Job was not the first (nor will he be the last), to cry out, “Why me? Why mine?” when facing calamity and crisis. Let us strive to help such individuals move past anger to acceptance, and from frustration to faith.
We are in a war zone—Satan and God are battling it out here below. Though we only get a brief glimpse into the spiritual world, the clearest knowledge of this struggle is in the first two chapters of Job, where God and Satan have a dialog; Satan is granted permission to reach out and afflict Job. Other references include Jesus’ statement to Peter: “Satan has asked to have you that he might sift you as wheat” (Luke 22:31); Paul’s thorn in the flesh, identified as “a messenger of Satan,” which indirectly served the positive purpose of helping him remain humble (2 Cor. 12:7-10); the woman with an issue of blood whom “Satan hath bound” (Luke 13:16); and Satan being referenced as “the god of this world” (2 Cor. 4:4).
A common belief, whether through lack of study or being misled, is that God’s will is the only will. Yet, from the examples above, we learn that God has a will, Satan has a will, and humanity has a will. The question (in times of tragedy, grief, and loss) is, “Whose will shall prevail?”
Others may have a distorted concept of God and humanity’s relationship with Him. Being free to make our own choices, we can decide our allegiance. Although God is over everything, we must not dare to blame everything on God. When attempting to reach an outsider who is angry with God, our goal is to find the root causes of that anger and address where the blame belongs.
When tragedy occurs, a first reaction of many is angrily to ask, “Why?!” If a loved one is brutalized, a child is abused, a natural disaster occurs, a family dies in a terrible accident, a marriage breaks apart, or disease grips someone—it is easy for people quickly to blame God. Blaming God is a common response when life doesn’t go as we think it should. “Since God is supposedly in control of everything,” the thinking goes, “He could have stopped what happened or made it happen differently.” While this may (in a sense) be true (Isa. 45:7), He does not always intervene. Because we live in a world where God has granted man freedom of will, we also live in a world under the curse of sin and death.
People often play the blame game when they can’t see a better solution to their problem. This may come as second nature to people who live with a victim mentality, or with those who have distorted views of God and how He works. Our task is to help such individuals get their thinking back on track.
Blame is the assigning of responsibility for a fault/wrong. It leads to unhelpful emotions like resentment, anger, hatred. We blame others for our thoughts/feelings that are negative. The word “blame” then means “to find fault with.” Whose fault? With whom shall I be angry? Psychology talks about the “self-serving bias,” i.e., taking credit for ourselves if things go good in life, but lay blame on circumstance when things go bad. Studies have found that blaming others is actually contagious. Accepting blame, or just accepting the circumstances over which we had no control, is difficult. Acceptance means that, once events occur, we cannot re-write history. We can accept it, seek forgiveness when we sin, learn from the experience, and move on. Sitting in blame only consumes us—making us bitter and resentful.
Blame and anger provide a quick escape from feeling out of control and/or dealing with guilt. They may become a self-serving excuse for continuing self-destructive and sinful behavior and unloading repressed feelings. “Things must go my way, or I’ll lash out.” Some never give God a second thought, but suddenly become deeply religious when disaster strikes. Not knowing God, they operate on their limited/faulty knowledge of deity and draw false conclusions. Seeking to divert attention from our own guilt, we lash out at God, as did Adam, when trying to avoid consequences for his own transgression (Gen. 3:8-12).
To avoid blaming God, we must first understand why heartache and pain are a part of our lives. Sin is at the root of every harsh and evil act. God did not design the human body or soul to live in a sinful world. Although we were created perfectly to dwell in a perfect world (Gen. 1-2), the sin of Adam and Eve brought disorder, devastation, and disaster into God’s perfect world, so all natural disasters exist because of sin (Gen. 3:17-19).
Natural law means things are predictable (cause and effect). One natural law is that two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Whether a person is good, or evil, does not change that law. So if we are in our car and a semi-truck hits us at a high speed, death or severe injury will probably occur. Why? Because we sinned? Not necessarily, but because a law of nature was broken, and physical consequences resulted. Here, humans die—either from age, illness, or tragedy. Death is part of our life cycle, because humanity no longer has access to the “tree of life” (Gen. 3:22; Rev. 22:14-19). That is the nature of life on this planet.
Leaders may make evil decisions that bring hardship to others; an innocent child may be raised in a violent environment and be abused, neglected, or die. These things happen not because those suffering did wrong, but because an evil person did an evil thing.
Consider the ten plagues in Egypt (Exo. 7:14-8:35), poisonous serpents in the camp in the days of Moses (Num. 21:6-9); and the locust invasion in the days of Joel. These are clearly attributed to God in His attempts to have His will done. However, we do not always know the source.
His ears are open to the prayers of the righteous (1 Pet. 3:12). What are others asking God? Some prayers are requests for opposites: For instance, two people/nations are at war, and both pray for victory; or a sick person prays for death, while their family prays for healing. Whose prayer receives a “Yes” answer? This is a time to remember that He may or may not take away the pain or calamity, but gives grace to bear it (2 Cor. 12:9-11).
Our attitude in suffering (whether our own or the helping of someone else) is “discipleship” being steady in our course; happiness and healing are not the goal of recovery from grief and tragedy. . . being steady on the course is the goal. Yet, with someone we are teaching, sometimes we are guilty of indirectly casting blame on God by saying things like: “It was God’s will,” “Everything happens for a reason,” “It was meant to be,” or “It was their time.” When working with those who blame God or are angry with Him, recognize that this is a common human failing—even among people of faith (Moses, David, and Habakkuk come to mind). Let’s take the time to let them talk, listen actively, and let them think it through. However, to give an answer for our hope, we must first have contemplated and come to peace with our answer; then, we can communicate a proper and helpful response.
Blaming and being angry with God comes at a cost: it keeps us from wanting to talk with Him. Instead of seeing God as benevolent and loving, we may view Him as a vindictive ogre. Blaming builds resentment, makes one bitter, and stymies personal growth, hardening us against people and life itself. It can destroy healthy relationships with brethren, friends, and family. Instead of having a positive influence on others, we spew negativity and venom. No wonder this truism rings out: “Hurt people hurt people.” The blame game can destroy us if we don’t let God deal with things in His way and in His time.
We desire God’s will for our lives, prioritizing it over our will and the will of Satan. God wastes nothing. What Satan means for evil, God turns into something useful as a skilled craftsman (Gen. 50:20). No suffering, heartache, loss, or pain is wasted in the lives of God’s own people. He transforms our grief and loss into a platform for future growth. He uses difficulties to strengthen us as disciples, giving us greater opportunities to store up treasure in heaven than we would have had without the pain (Matt. 6:20). Instead of blaming God, we “give thanks in everything” (Eph. 5:20; 1 Thess. 5:18). While God can intervene in any situation—if He doesn’t, and tragedy ensues—let us stop short of blaming Him for wrongdoing (Job 1:22; 13:15).
