by Kevin Maxey
Synopsis: While the loss of a loved one fills us with grief and sadness, it can be a time for reflection and personal resolve, an opportunity to express our faith and support one another.
My father was a detailed note-taker. Dad made to-do lists every day and everywhere. He rarely concluded a family meal or business lunch without making one more to-do list, even on a napkin, if necessary. He posted notes before there were Post-it® notes.
Despite his adept propensity to plan, an unplanned tragedy struck our family Saturday, April 3rd, 2021. Less than 24 hours after a cardiac stent procedure, my father suffered a massive brain stroke, leaving him disoriented, speechless, and in a state of rapid decline. Six heart-wrenching days later, Dad passed.
Arthur Brockway Maxey III finished his earthly race on Friday, April 9th, 2021. Dad’s unexpected death is a sober reminder that even avid planners cannot outplan death. My father’s faithful work is complete. His good fight is over. His spiritual race is won (2 Tim. 4:7-8). No more to-do lists.
Desperate for comfort, understanding, and connection, my brother, Chris, soberly ventured into dad’s office. There it sat. Dad’s weekly planner. Slowly opening to the last recorded week of dad’s life, Chris found the following entries: Mon. Mar. 29th, new glasses, Wed. Mar. 31st, cardiologist apt., Fri. Apr. 2nd angiogram. Looking closer, Chris discovered another to-do list. This list, however, was different. It was dad’s last to-do list. Dad carefully organized his plans into three categories: personal, church, and business. These categories included typical tasks related to diet, exercise, yardwork, finances, business training, household maintenance and church projects. No surprises there. However, one item stood far above the rest. In the middle of his last to-do list, dad wrote the sobering words, “burial plans and will.” I was stunned.
On the morning of dad’s funeral, my 10-year-old daughter observed my subpar shoe-cleaning efforts. She astutely remarked, “Grandpa would have already polished his shoes . . . yesterday.” Surrounded by reminders of dad, I constantly think, “If dad were here, he would do this,” or “he would say that.” For me, he is like faithful Abel, who “though he died, he still speaks” (Heb. 11:4). As our family deals with the traumatic shock of dad’s sudden passing, we find great comfort in his steadfast faith and righteous character (1 Thess. 4:13-18). To keep his example alive, I encouraged my children to identify and personally develop one of their grandfather’s best qualities. These “grandpa resolutions” motivated me to create the following “dad-inspired” to-do list of my own:
Dad’s “burial plans and will” entry initially disturbed me. Upon closer reflection, however, I now find comfort in these words. This last entry reveals my father’s awareness of his need to prepare for his death. In fact, just weeks before, dad updated several financial matters. The night before his cardiac surgery, he prepared a six-page list of important account passwords for my mother. My father put his house in order. May God help me do the same.
It didn’t matter what the job was, dad always finished what he started. If he was replacing a household appliance, repairing a vehicle, landscaping the yard, painting the house, or fixing something at the church building, my father completed each task. Godly men finish what they start. Noah finished the ark (Gen. 6:14-22). Nehemiah finished the wall (Neh. 6:15-16). Paul finished his race (2 Tim. 4:7). Good builders finish what they start (Luke 14:28-30). Dad did not allow himself to be paralyzed by slothfulness, frustration, or distractions (Prov. 12:11). My father finished what he started. May God help me do the same.
Dad not only finished what he started—he finished well. Many would call my father a perfectionist. Dad did not take shortcuts. He lived according to Solomon’s charge, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might” (Eccl. 9:10; Col. 3:23). God rejects lukewarm mediocrity (Rev. 3:15-16) and praises those who excel in every good work (2 Cor. 9:8). My father pursued excellence. May God help me do the same.
My father was not the wealthiest person in town, but he maintained a high standard of living because he was a faithful steward of God’s blessings. Dad’s careful maintenance and responsible stewardship literally made everything he owned look new. For example, he was the original owner of a pristine 2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee. His 21-year-old car glistens like new even to this day. God rewards faithful stewards, saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master” (Matt. 25:21). My father was a faithful steward. May I be the same.
My father did not grow up in the Lord’s church. Mom introduced dad to the gospel when dating in high school nearly sixty years ago (1 Pet. 3:1-3). Not only did he obey the gospel, he was also instrumental in leading his family to the Lord; past, present, and future. Not only did he lead his children and grandchildren to the Lord, Dad patiently taught and converted his sister, his mother, and his father. Even as recently as last year, he baptized his sister’s husband. My father was a multi-generational influence for good (Deut. 6:1-9). Like Abraham, Dad trained “his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord” (Gen. 18:19). My father led his family to the Lord. May God help me do the same.
James does not condemn making plans, he only condemns making plans outside the consideration and will of God (Jas. 4:1-3). Is your list filled primarily with worldly or heavenly pursuits? Don’t be fooled into thinking worldly pursuits are more pressing and rewarding. “What profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” (Matt. 16:26).
One day, like it or not, you will make your last to-do list. Hebrews 9:27 affirms, “It is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment.” It doesn’t matter if you are eighteen or eighty, your time to die will come. Solomon explains, “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die” (Eccl. 3:1-2). Are you ready for your time to die? Is your house in order? If not, what are you waiting for?
Thank you, dad, for keeping God first on your to-do list.
