by Heath Rogers
Synopsis: The warning that Jesus gave to Peter on the night that He was betrayed provides us with a pattern to follow when our loved ones are making terrible mistakes.
What are we to do whefn a loved one is making a terrible mistake? We often feel helpless as we must stand on the sidelines and watch the approaching disaster unfold before our eyes. Does the Bible give us any help with such situations?
The words that Jesus spoke to Peter on the night that He was betrayed give us some insight into how Jesus handled this kind of situation. “And the Lord said, ‘Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren’” (Luke 22:31-32). Notice some things Jesus did regarding Peter’s approaching denial.
Peter did not know the severity of the trial that awaited him. The Lord understood that Peter had been singled out, and his faith was going to undergo a severe test. Jesus likened it to the sifting of wheat. In that day, wheat was sifted by being placed in a metal box and shaken vigorously until the husk was removed from the kernel. Peter’s faith was going to be shaken to the core that night. He could not accept the fact that he would ever fail his Lord (v. 33), but he would that night. Jesus warned him.
Those who see dangers that lie ahead are duty-bound to warn others. Just as watchmen had the responsibility of warning a city of an approaching enemy, God’s people have a similar obligation of warning others of approaching danger (Ezek. 33:1-9). The book of Proverbs is Solomon’s warning of the pitfalls of life to his sons. Paul warned the elders of the church in Ephesus (Acts 20:28-31).
Warning those we care about is an act of love (Rev. 3:19), but these warnings will not always be appreciated. They may be received as wounds (Prov. 27:6) or a slap in the face (Ps. 141:5). Peter did not heed the Lord’s warning, but he was warned. The warnings we give our loved ones may fall on deaf ears, or even be repaid with anger, but it will be better than living with the regret of having done nothing.
God grants us the gift of a free will. The Lord warns us in His word, but then allows us to make our own decisions. Sometimes our choices please God, but other times they grieve His heart. Either way, God allows us to make these decisions.
God has also granted free will to our loved ones. When they become adults, they have the right to make their own decisions. When they make good decisions, our hearts are filled with joy. However, when they make bad decisions that bring severe consequences upon themselves and others, our hearts are grieved.
Jesus did not stop the testing of Peter’s faith. He warned Peter, then allowed Peter to make his own decisions. We must do the same thing. We can give advice, warnings, wisdom, and an excellent example to those we love, but in the end, they have the freedom to make their own choices.
Some of the most miserable Christians I know are people who try to control the lives of their grown children. We are to train up our children in the way they should go (Prov. 22:6), but then we have to let them go. When our children get married, they are to leave “father and mother and be joined to” their spouse (Gen. 2:24). Some fathers and mothers do not let their children leave. This is not God’s plan. Not only are these individuals miserable, so are their loved ones.
Free will is a double-edged sword. It has the potential to give parents their greatest joys and their greatest sorrows. However, we must respect the exercise of this free will.
There is still something we can do after we have warned and encouraged our loved one—we can pray for them. We can pray for them to make the right decision. We can pray that they will come to their senses and repent (Luke 15:17). We can pray that the consequences of their error will be minimal. We can pray that God will give us wisdom and peace during our heartache (1 Pet. 5:6-7; Phil. 4:6-7). Remember, there is power in prayer: “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (Jas. 5:16).
Jesus correctly identified Satan as the culprit in the matter regarding Peter’s failure. Satan loves to destroy God’s people. If he cannot do so through a direct assault on us, he will use our loved ones.
We know that Satan is the master of deception (Rev. 12:9). He is a liar and a murderer (John 8:44). He is the roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Pet. 5:8). The Bible tells us that Satan can entrap people into doing his bidding. “And that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will” (2 Tim. 2:26). Unfortunately, sometimes these trapped individuals are our dear loved ones.
It is only natural for us to project our anger upon those individuals who are causing us to experience great pain and grief. We must rise above this temptation, having the presence of mind to see Satan’s evil hand involved in such situations. He is the enemy, not our loved one. Let us fervently pray that they will come to their senses and stop serving the wicked one.
Jesus warned Peter, told him He was praying for him and foretold his failure. However, Jesus also anticipated Peter’s repentance.
We are not entirely like Jesus in this situation. As deity, He knew Peter would return. We cannot see the future. Our hearts ache not knowing if or when our loved ones will repent.
We may not be like the Lord in this situation, but we are like the father of the prodigal (Luke 15:11-24). He respected his son’s free will. He did not forbid him from leaving, and he did not chase after him and try to drag him back home. When the rebellious son came to himself and returned home, his father “saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him” (v. 20). The father never made his son out to be an enemy. His love and compassion for his son never changed. While he did not go after his son, the father always watched for his son to return home.
Hope is a powerful thing. It is the anchor of our soul (Heb. 6:19). As long as our loved ones have life, we have hope (2 Pet. 3:9). Why would we pray for our loved ones if we did not anticipate their repentance? When the prodigal’s father heard his son confess his sin, he welcomed him back into his home with celebration, “for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found” (Luke 15:24). This may not be the case for us, but we can cling to hope.
Heath Rogers
Heath has been preaching for the Knollwood church of Christ in Beavercreek, OH, since 2011. He and his wife, Christy, have two children. The church website is knollwoodchurch.org. He can be reached at heathrogers71@yahoo.com.
