by Corey Willis
Synopsis: The concept of discipleship comes from the Greek root "math-" which is suggestive of the discipline required of all who would faithfully follow Christ, including both parents and children.
In two words, Jesus summarized God's plan of salvation for humanity. Encountering Simon Peter, his brother Andrew, Matthew, Philip, the rich young ruler, and many others, Jesus succinctly said, "Follow me" (Matt. 4:19; 8:21-22; 9:9; Mark 8:34; 10:21; John 1:43). Parents, and specifically fathers, have a responsibility to bring up their children in the instruction and discipline of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). We must raise our children to be disciples, learning about Christ, and changing their lives to become more like Him.
The crowds desperately wanted to be with Jesus, witness His miracles, and hear what He was teaching. They swarmed Him when He sought time to Himself and even followed Him for days (Matt. 14:13-15; 15:32). Nothing else they could be doing was more important. Peter, Andrew, James, and John immediately left their nets and their boats to follow Him (Matt. 4:18-22). Above all else, our children need to see that we consistently prioritize time with Christ—not only through our example but also in the way we allow them to use their own time. No school function, sport, or recreational activity comes before serving the Lord. Like those of Jesus' time, we need to demonstrate an intense desire to spend time with the Lord.
We need to teach our children the seriousness of committing to the Lord. Jesus used polarizing language to describe such commitment: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26-27). We must teach our children that no relationship comes before Christ. In practice, our children see this when we withdraw from erring Christians who've left the Lord.
We must put our desires to death in order to serve Him (Luke 14:33; Matt. 16:24). That's what we're teaching them when we spend our own time studying our lessons instead of watching videos and enforce the same for them. When we help them give a portion of their birthday money, allowance, and income to the Lord, they're learning to serve Christ above self. It's what they learn when they see us change our language and our habits, and when we help them repent from the sins they've committed (Heb. 12:1; 1 John 3:6-7).
We cultivate discipleship by helping our children carve out time for personal study and prayer. Jesus spent time alone in prayer with the Father (Matt. 14:22-23). We teach our children when we lead prayer in the home and ask them to pray audibly. When they talk with us about problems they're facing, we teach discipleship by helping them express their concerns to the Lord. We teach them the joys of studying His word by assisting them in chasing down answers in the Scriptures to the questions that they have.
Discipleship is not only about what you do as an individual, but also about the time you spend with others. Jesus' disciples spent time with other Christians in collective worship and each other's homes (Acts 2:46). Throughout their years, we must teach our children the importance of participating in each part of our worship together. We should help them understand the significance of the Lord's supper. One father and friend used to whisper in his young children's ears while the emblems were being passed to tell them what Christ did for them. Teach your children to sing out to praise God and encourage other Christians regardless of how good they think they sound. We cultivate discipleship when we teach our children that we're talking to the Creator of heaven and earth during our prayers. They should see us give back to God during the collection and we should help them contribute at a young age and more as they grow. After God's word is preached, we cultivate discipleship when we talk about changes we need to make instead of changes the preacher needs to make. As early as we're able, we should teach our children that worship is not a time for sleep, games or being entertained. It's an opportunity to commune with God and our brethren.
Our children need to spend time with Christians apart from periods of collective worship. As Jesus taught, our true family is composed of Jesus' disciples (Matt. 12:49-50). We've never discouraged our children from spending time with their school friends, but we've actively encouraged and enabled them to spend time with other Christians. We taught them the importance of building strong relationships with those who will help them when they're struggling. Give your children every opportunity to build these relationships at Bible studies, at camps, in each other's homes, playing games, going out to eat or just doing nothing together. Jesus surrounded Himself with those who had a common interest in serving God and so should His disciples.
Jesus' ministry was marked by helping others. When we take our children to hospitals, nursing homes, and funerals, we're teaching them to be disciples of Christ, and help others in their times of need (Jas. 1:27). Our children need to see us serving other Christians with our prayer, our time, and our money. To assist others in their times of need, we have to be aware of their needs. If we are the last ones to the church building and the first ones out the door, it is difficult to know what's going on in the lives of our brethren.
It's crucial that our service doesn't stop at the church, but that it continues in the world (Gal. 6:9-10). Christ is glorified when we serve those outside His body (Matt. 5:16). As parents, we cultivate discipleship when we encourage and coordinate opportunities for them to serve in their communities. We can help them clean up a neighbor's yard, give to food drives, and buy gifts for less fortunate families. Paul reminded those in Philippi that Christ gave His Own life in service to others. In like manner, disciples must consider others more significant than themselves (Phil. 2:1-8).
Most importantly, those who follow Christ will teach others to follow Him. Jesus prayed for those who would work to bring disciples to the Lord (Matt. 9:35-37). Christians who were forced to leave Jerusalem due to religious persecution made disciples in the cities to which they were scattered (Acts 6:7). As parents, we first make disciples when we teach our children the gospel. We then make disciples when we encourage our children to talk with their friends about Christ. When they come home from those discussions with questions, we should study with them to help them find the answers in God's word.
We also make disciples of Christ when we help them endure scrutiny and persecution. When they teach others, stand for Christ, and share in His sufferings, they're truly His disciples (2 Tim. 2:1-3). Your children may face a choice between a failing grade and being immodestly disrobed in a swim class in front of those of the opposite sex. Like early disciples, it's a time for "rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name" (Acts 5:41).
As parents, we have a significant role to play cultivating discipleship in our children, both by our examples and by enabling them. We guide them personally by teaching them to prioritize Christ above all other things in life. We help them collectively by enabling them to spend time with other Christians. We give them opportunities to serve others within and outside of the Lord's body. We help them make disciples and rejoice when they suffer for Christ's sake. Though the work is critically important, it's also thoroughly fulfilling. As John wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" (3 John 1:4).
Author Bio: Corey and his wife, Meagan, have been married for twenty years and have two daughters. He works for cooperative electric utilities in Indiana, serves as a deacon for the Jamestown church of Christ, and also as an advisor to the Board of Truth Publications. He can be reached at corey@truthpublications.com.
