by David Dann
Synopsis: We help our children develop into distinctive people of God as we teach, guide, and shape them through the instruction of His word while setting a godly example for them to imitate.
God's people are to be distinctive. "Distinctiveness" is defined as: "Something which distinguishes something from anything else" (definitions.net). The apostle Paul instructed the Christians in Corinth, saying, "Therefore Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty" (2 Cor. 6:17-18).
God's plan is for His people to raise children who will obey the gospel and live in a way that is different and distinct from the ways of the world (Eph. 6:4). If we want our children to reach heaven, then we have to cultivate this distinctiveness in them so that they will follow the Lord instead of following the world (Rom. 12:2). As those who have been transformed by the gospel, we can develop distinctiveness in our children through teaching them, through modeling the right example for them, and through directing them to make the right choices in life.
When it comes to spiritual matters, we need to teach our children that there is one God who created the world and that there is only one way of salvation (John 14:6). We also need to teach them that one church is not just as good as another, but that there is "one body" over which Jesus is the Head (Eph. 4:4). We need to make sure they know that faith alone will never save anyone, but that "He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned" (Mark 16:16). When it comes to worship, we must ensure they understand that "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth" (John 4:24), instead of allowing them to develop the impression that we can invent our own ways to worship. Our children need to be taught to respect the authority of God's word so that they might remain distinct as people of God amid a sea of religious error and confusion (2 Tim. 1:13).
Are we teaching them that they need to worship in spirit and truth, but then forsaking our responsibility to assemble with the saints? Are we teaching them that they need to have a relationship with God through Christ to go to heaven, but then they never see us praying to God or studying the Bible at home? Do they hear us say there is only one true church and that sinners must be baptized into Christ to be saved, but then they never see us trying to teach our friends and neighbors in the world who are caught up in denominational error and false doctrine? Do we tell them that we need to submit to the authority of God's word in everything and then attend a church that promotes error and engages in unauthorized activities? We should be the distinctive people of God that we want our children to become. We must make right choices so that they learn to put God first (Josh. 24:15). Eventually, our children will grow up and have to make decisions for themselves in spiritual matters. Yet, while we are training and guiding them, we need to direct them down a very distinctive path.
When it comes to matters of conduct and behavior, we need to teach our children to follow the instruction of God's word. We need to make sure they understand and live by the principle: "And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise" (Luke 6:31) instead of treating others in ways that are selfish and destructive. We need to teach them to "Flee sexual immorality" (1 Cor. 6:18) instead of allowing them to receive their teaching about sexuality from the world. We need to make sure they understand what God ordained regarding marriage as a union between one man and one woman so that their view of marriage is distinct from that of the world (Mark 10:6-8). We also need to ensure that they are not deceived when it comes to the popular sins of our day, such as fornication, homosexuality, and drunkenness (1 Cor. 6:9-10). To remain distinct people in the midst of a society filled with perversion, ungodliness, and immorality, our children need to be taught, "Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Tim. 2:22).
Do we expect them to treat others properly while we lie to our neighbors or take advantage of others in our business dealings? Are we telling them to flee sexual immorality while we're committing adultery? Are we teaching them the truth concerning what God's word says about marriage while failing to live up to our marriage vows and responsibilities? Are we warning them to flee from youthful lusts while we're quietly viewing pornography? We need to make sure that we are examples of the distinctive people of God that we want our children to become. As parents, we have to make the right choices and the hard choices when it comes to helping our children to be morally distinct from the world. We also have to be willing to stand up and say "no" when our children expect to engage in the morally harmful activities in which "everyone else" is seemingly involved.
When it comes to matters involving attitude, we should instruct our children to follow the Bible's teaching in always acting out of love for God and others (Mark 12:30-31). Let us help them understand that "Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law" (Rom. 13:10) and teach them to develop the "fruit of the spirit" (Gal. 5:22-23). To help them to remain distinct people in the midst of a culture that focuses upon all the wrong things, we need to teach them not to love the world or the things in it (1 John 2:15-17).
Are we teaching them to love God with all their hearts while we selfishly push Him down the list of priorities in our own lives? Are we teaching them to have an attitude of love that seeks the best interests of others while we harbor ill-will and resentment toward those around us and curse them? Do we tell our children that the Bible says they should be kind and forgiving while we lash out in anger and hold bitter grudges toward those who have wronged us? Do we tell them not to love the things of the world while we are consumed with materialistic greed? We need to make sure that we are living the example of the distinctive people we want our children to become. We have to make the choices for them that will help them to lay up treasures in heaven instead of following the covetous ways of our culture. Eventually, our children will grow up and make decisions for themselves when it comes to the attitudes that will drive their actions. Yet, while we are training and guiding them, we need to direct them down a very distinctive path.
Remember, as the people of God, we are not supposed to be like everyone else (1 Pet. 2:9-10). We need to make sure that we are living our lives like we are God's special, distinct people, and we also need to make sure we are developing that same distinctiveness in our children. Don't be content to follow the world. There is too much at stake!
"Distinctiveness." Definitions.net https://www.definitions.net/definition/distinctiveness.
Author Bio: David has labored with the Hebron Lane Church of Christ in Shepherdsville, KY since 2016. He and his wife, Cynthia, have been blessed with six children. The church website is hebronlane.com. He can be reached at ddann1@hotmail.com.
