by Stephen Reeves
Synopsis: In this tribute to the family life of William (Bill) H. Reeves, Stephen recalls that his father pursued the will of God as a pattern for his marriage and fatherhood.
All Christians would and should admit that God's ways are righteous and true (Rev. 15:3). One area where God's guidance is needed is in the realm of home and family. I was blessed to grow up in a home where both my father and mother were Christians who sought to follow God's guidelines for marriage and raising children. Were they perfect parents? Probably not, but then I've never met any, so I can't say. However, there is a big difference in imperfectly following God's ways and rejecting them for the wisdom of the world.
I grew up in a loving home. It never crossed my mind to think that Dad didn't love Mom. She loved Dad and was devoted to the Lord, Dad's work as an evangelist, and the raising of her children (I would love to say much about Mom's character and life, but the limits of this article don't permit such). I'm sure they may have had their arguments, but they were never aired in front of the children. There were eight of us, two girls and six boys in that order. Through his love for Mom, Dad taught us to respect her (Prov. 1:8; 15:20). Many times I would hear him say, "You boys get in the kitchen and help your mother. She's not your slave!" Proverbs instructs us to respect our mothers (23:22, 25). Fathers should include this teaching in "training up" their children (Eph. 6:4).
When Dad would be gone away on a gospel meeting, we boys would occasionally give Mom a hard time. She would punish us (often as a whipping—which works, by the way) that we might learn to respect her and her word (Prov. 29:15). Many times, when Dad got home and heard about our more egregious "stunts," he would punish us, not for the event, but "for giving your mother a hard time." We learned that he loved her and wanted us to respect her as much as we respected him (Prov. 30:17)! He would not let her be treated in a way that he wouldn't want to be treated (Eph. 5:28-31).
Dad spent the majority of his life preaching in Spanish. He made many trips out of the country over the decades. With so many children (eighteen years between the first and the last) Mom was not able to go with him as she would have liked. In later years, he personally paid for her to go overseas and share in the experience of seeing fellow brethren in other countries. Mom could speak Spanish well and was a helpmeet to him. Later in life, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. When they told me of the situation, Mom began to tear up, and Dad said, "It's OK, we'll get through this together." Together they did.
He cared for her at home up until the last few weeks, which required hospice care in a nursing home. He went to the nursing home every day and sat with her. He talked to her, sang hymns to her, and prayed with her to the end. Several years later, on an anniversary of her death, I was talking to him. Dad said, "Do you know what I miss the most? I miss taking care of your Mom." My eyes still water every time I recall those words. Truly, they shared a common love, a common faith in Christ, and a common goal of heaven (1 Pet. 3:7).
Dad practiced what he preached. He preached that fathers had the God-given responsibility of raising their children "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4). He took the lead in training and discipline and didn't push that off on Mom. His guidelines in training were biblical (Prov. 22:6). He would say, "If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing right," a principle found in Ecclesiastes 9:10. When borrowing something or using someone else's property, he'd say, "Leave things better than how you found them." Such sayings echo the golden rule (Matt. 7:12).
In Scripture, we read "take heed," which means more than "just hear." It carries with it the idea of listening. In his training, Dad would often say, "Pay attention, I'm only going to tell you once, and I expect you to do it." Such discipline taught us to listen to him, Mom, teachers at school, and teachers of the Word. In training, stewardship was always stressed as Jesus did in Luke 16:1-13. He reminded us not to waste anything by saying, "want always follows waste." Isn't that what Jesus said happened to the prodigal son? He "wasted his substance," and "began to be in want" (Luke 15:13-14).
His example accompanied his training. Every chore that Dad required of me, I saw him do himself. I saw him mow the yard, clean the house, cook, wash dishes, wash clothes, iron, and sweep the floor. He was always up at 6:00 a.m., studying or working around the house before breakfast. He encouraged work and eschewed laziness (Prov. 10:4).
Home life was not all work and responsibility! While beginning a new Spanish work in Miami, he built a pontoon boat so we could enjoy the water away from the lasciviousness of Miami Beach. On Saturday morning, we kids watched cartoons. Nevertheless, after about three hours of that, he would come into the family room and say, "You boys turn that off and go do something constructive." This encouraged the use of our imagination. We developed different hobbies, rode our bikes, and played football (With eight kids, we had our own league.).
With training and example, there is also the need for admonishment and discipline (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21). The Hebrew writer asks, "For what son is there whom his father chasteneth not?" Unfortunately, biblical discipline is lacking in some Christian homes. When training, example, and admonishment were met with our rebellion and disobedience, we were punished. Sometimes that required a whipping (Prov. 13:24; 22:15; 23:13; 29:15), but Dad was always fair. He would ask before punishing, "Do you know why I'm whipping you?" We would tell him why. We knew! On one occasion, I said that I didn't know why. He responded, "Didn't your brother tell you I said for you to…" "No," I said. Dad told me to leave and called my brother into the room. "Whew!" I thought. "That was close!" I don't know what happened to my brother! We knew that his discipline was done out of love for us (Rev. 3:19).
Scholars tell us that Jesus' use of the term "Abba," as in "Abba Father" (Mark 14:36), was an endearing term. Our earthly father was also a "Dad" to us. He provided more than just food and clothing for us (Matt. 7:9-11). He gave us the gift of daily spiritual guidance. Before every breakfast, Dad read a chapter from the Bible, feeding our souls before our bodies. In our teen years, he talked to us about being spiritual leaders and not being "sheep," following the crowd. These were the difficult times of the "hippies," long hair, drugs, burning draft cards. Dad talked to us, advising us how to deal with them.
Later in life, he gave me advice on preaching and raising our children. Often he would say, "I love you," "I'll be praying for you," "How's your work going?", and ask about my wife and kids. He was a loving Dad who loved his children!
Bill Reeves was not "special" above any other father who has followed God's pattern for being a godly husband and father. His example, however, is one of many that shows that following God's will, regarding home and family, will bring the fruit of the Spirit into our homes. As Paul wrote, "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control; against such, there is no law (Gal. 5:22-23).
Author Bio: Steve has worked with the Benton Church of Christ in Benton, IL for eight years. He and his wife, Sue, have three children. The church website is bentoncoc.org. He can be reached at sereeves@aol.com.
William (Bill) H. Reeves passed from this life on April 4, 2019.