by Robert Harkrider
Synopsis: Contemporary culture rails against manliness, partly because false definitions have become widely accepted. Robert renews the emphasis on spirituality, moral virtue, and living with a heavenly focus.
When David admonished his son, Solomon, "Prove yourself a man" (1 Kings 2:1-3), he did not have in mind wearing the right cologne or being a star athlete, not even being a "ladies' man." Many males have been persuaded by the propaganda of TV commercials and the printed media to think that these are the standards by which to measure manhood. By contrast, when Samuel was sent to the house of Jesse to anoint a king over Israel, he thought the first one, Eliab, was surely the Lord's anointed. However, God said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Sam. 16:7). Many examples in the Bible illustrate why the characteristics that men think are most important are not the qualities for which God looks.
Samson is remembered as the strongest man. Children are fascinated to read of his mighty works as he killed a lion with his bare hands and defeated the Philistines. Yet, the allurement of sexual immorality drew Samson to Delilah, a Philistine woman with whom he had no right to cohabit. When she learned his secret, his hair was cut, and he lost his strength, for the Lord departed from him (Judg. 14; 15; 16). Would anyone really want to be like Samson whose immoral lust led to his shame and death?
The Bible says of Absalom, David's son, "In all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him" (2 Sam. 14:25). Not only was Absalom handsome, he was the son of the king! However, selfish greed caused him to turn against his father and seek the position of king in his place. He stole the hearts of the men of Israel by implying that his father did not care for them. Absalom gathered an army and pursued after David to have him killed. It was during this encounter that Absalom was himself slain (2 Sam. 18:9-14). Of what value were his good looks or his wealth when his heart became filled with greed?
When Saul was anointed the first king of Israel, he was so humble and shy that he hid among the equipment (1 Sam. 10:22-23). As time passed and the Lord blessed his endeavors, Saul became proud of his position, and this led him to think his decisions would always be what God would approve. This caused his downfall and rejection by God to be the king. Pride changed Saul's attitude from the time "when you were little in your own eyes" (1 Sam. 15:17). The Lord sent him to destroy the Amalekites utterly, but he spared the king and the best of the sheep and oxen. His excuse for sparing these was to sacrifice to God, but Samuel reminded him, "Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice" (1 Sam. 15:22). "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Prov. 16:18).
In contrast to these, what are the characteristics which God seeks?
As a young Jew in Babylonian captivity, Daniel was given a unique opportunity to serve the king of the strongest empire on earth at that time. For three years, he was given the best education and ate the best of foods. However, this "opportunity" caused him to face what some would think was a difficult choice: follow God's law and die or follow the king's law and live (Dan. 1:4-5, 10). He could compromise by reasoning that it was only for a brief period, or it might give him an opportunity to be of greater service to the Jews if he obeyed the king. The thought of choice never seemed to enter his mind. Obey God was first! "Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself …" (Dan. 1:8). Is it any wonder that when we read about Daniel approximately seventy years later, King Darius gave him a position of great importance? "Then this Daniel distinguished himself above the governors and satraps, because an excellent spirit was in him, and the king gave thought to setting him over the whole realm" (Dan. 6:3).
At age seventeen Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers. He must have surely thought that his father, Jacob, would rescue him. However, this did not happen because his brothers caused Jacob to believe that his son was dead. Joseph could have felt sorry for himself and turned against God for allowing him to be mistreated. Nevertheless, Joseph remained faithful to God. Even when tempted by Potiphar's wife "day by day" to commit adultery with her, Joseph refused. His moral character built by faith in God gave him the strength to resist. The strength was not fear of Potiphar should he be found guilty, but it was toward God even in secret places. His protest to Potiphar's wife was, "How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?" (Gen. 39:9).
Moses was raised as the son of Pharaoh's daughter and was "learned in all the wisdom of the Egyptians" (Acts 7:22). As a king's grandson, he could have had the best wheels, the latest fad of clothing, or the girl of his choice. Instead, "by faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin" (Heb. 11:24-25). Had the writer stopped at this point, we might wonder, "why?" Why would Moses choose suffering over physical pleasures of sin? The text continues: "esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasure in Egypt: for he looked to the reward." A real man of God has his goal set for eternity!
You may ask, "how can we cultivate these characteristics in our sons?" An old Chinese proverb says, "One generation plants the trees and another gets the shade." The life you live affects your children and later your grandchildren. Do your sons see these characteristics in you? Children walk in our shoes when little, and we laugh, but they will walk in our footsteps when grown.
You cannot lead your child closer to God than you are yourself. Develop a well-defined life of faith and follow it. Know what you believe and why. Be single-minded about putting God first. Guard your life against hypocrisy. Maintain a loving relationship with your wife. We must plant these kind of trees to cultivate manliness in our sons and shade them from the blistering heat of the anti-God values so prevalent in our world today.
Author Bio: Robert served with the South Bumby church in Orlando, FL for thirty years. He now lives in near Atlanta. He can be reached at rhharkrider@gmail.com.
