by Steve Wolfgang
Synopsis: Steve considers "Broken Homes in Modern America" and concludes there is hope for struggling families in our culture!
In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus connects the formation of new families through marriage to God's intentions "from the beginning." Quoting both Genesis 1:27 and 2:24 (and asking, "Have you not read?"), Jesus links them together as expressions of God's intentional design. Though some modern readers of these texts profess to see contradictory creation accounts, our Lord seemed unaware of any such incongruities between the two.
In 21st-century America, the situation regarding families looks nothing like what God intended – though there is some good news in recent statistics: The majority (69%) of America's 73.7 million children under age eighteen live in families with two parents, according to U.S. Census Bureau statistics released in November 2016.¹
"Despite the rise of childbearing outside of marriage, the majority of children in the United States still live with two married parents," according to Jonathan Vespa, a demographer in the Fertility and Family Statistics Branch at the Census Bureau.
In some ways, there is more good news in a recent analysis of divorce rates which demonstrate that, rather than a generic 50% divorce rate, in fact, 72% of people who have ever been married are still married to their first spouse.² ³ True, while a 28% divorce rate is better than 50%, it is still disturbing. Yet, one can take heart in the fact that most marriages in America make it—especially those where religious faith is a strong component.
The bad news is that, historically, things have been in a state of decline for decades: Between 1960 and 2016, the percentage of children living in families with two parents decreased from 88% to 69%. Of the 50.7 million children living in families with two parents, 47.7 million live with two married parents and 3.0 million live with two unmarried parents. This is compared to other types of living arrangements, such as living with grandparents or having a single parent.
The second most common family arrangement is children living with a single mother, at 23 percent. During the 1960-2016 period, the percentage of children living with only their mother nearly tripled from 8 to 23 percent and the percentage of children living with only their father increased from 1 to 4 percent. The percentage of children not living with any parent increased slightly from 3 to 4 percent.
It is significant that, both in cases of divorce and family statistics, the numbers are in some ways distorted by the increasing number of individuals living together, and raising children, without ever having married, a phenomenon that has been on the rise for decades.
The data from the 2016 Current Population Survey Annual Social and Economic Supplement, which has collected statistics on families for more than sixty years, also reveals that:
28 percent of households have just one person living in them—an increase from 13 percent in 1960.Married couples make up 68% of all families with children under age eighteen, compared to 93% in 1950.
In 2016, almost one-third of all adults (32%) have never been married, up from about one-quarter (23%) in 1950.
About 38% of opposite-sex unmarried couples have a child under age eighteen living with them.
Of the 11 million families with children under age eighteen, and no spouse present, the majority are single mothers (8.5 million). Single fathers comprise the remaining 2.5 million single-parent families.
More than 8 million opposite-sex couples live together without being married.
As these statistics show (and as many observers have pointed out), there are tremendous economic and social costs inherent in this situation—without even considering the spiritual "costs." Analysis of social science literature demonstrates that the root causes of poverty and income disparity are linked undeniably to the presence or absence of marriage. Broken families earn less income, and experience lower levels of educational achievement. Furthermore, the prospects of meager incomes and family instability are often passed on to their children, ensuring a continuing if not expanding cycle of economic distress.
Simply put, whether or not a child's parents are married and stay married has a massive effect on his future prosperity and that of the next generation. Unfortunately, the growth in the number of children born into broken families in America—from twelve for every 100 born in 1950, to fifty-eight for every 100 born in 1992, to the numbers cited above.
Is there a common thread connecting these numbers? In many ways, it would be easy to conclude that much of the responsibility for this abysmal situation seems to rest with men who have abdicated their responsibilities. Too many men have physically, financially and emotionally abandoned their children and the mothers who bore their children, leaving those women to raise the children as best they can.
Too many other fathers are spiritually absent—sometimes "justified" by the need to make more money to provide what modern society dictates as "necessities." The failure to heed the command to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4), instead, often provokes sons and daughters to wrath, and the disastrous results of disobedience, or discouragement (Col. 3:21).
The spiritual disengagement of many men may also explain why, in far too many local congregations, so many men show virtually no interest in Bible study, or in learning to cultivate abilities to teach Bible classes or lead the Lord's people in hymning the praise of Almighty God in song. In many ways, it has made the "family of God" (using the metaphor congregationally) into a "broken" and dysfunctional family.
Families are broken in other ways, of course: Wives as well as husbands commit adultery, and are in other ways unfaithful to each other and their marriage vows, and shatter the trust which can be a bulwark against familial brokenness. Teenagers rebel and disobey their parents, and God, too often plunging their families into heartbreak and brokenness.
Still, in the midst of the brokenness which confronts our "enlightened" society, hope is ever-present and can be seen in many biblical examples. Despite the brokenness of Jacob's family, one result was the deliverance God granted through the betrayal of Joseph and ultimate perseverance of Joseph (Gen. 50:19-21). Through David and his sins with Bathsheba, and the ensuing coverup, Solomon was able to build the temple and the ultimate fulfillment of the throne of David and the "temple" of Christ's earthly body, which was raised, and ultimately to His church
God can turn brokenness into redemption; mourning into joyful fulfillment. He can create praise out of despair and bind up the wounds of the brokenhearted. God can restore families and use the tragedies that wound so deeply, using their imperfections to accomplish the purposes for which He created us. Let us pray for our Father's mercy on our families! He who sent His only Son to die and rise again to forgive our sins is our hope in all the brokenness we face in this world!
¹ The statistics presented here are from the 2016 Current Population Survey Annual Social and Economic Supplement.The Current Population Survey, sponsored jointly by the U.S. Census Bureau and the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, is the primary source of demographic statistics for the population of the United States.
² Shaunti Feldhaun, The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths About Divorce and Remarriage, (Colorado Springs, CO: Multnomah Books, 2014).
³ Feldhaun's conclusions are derived from data including "Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 2009" in Current Population Reports, 2011, p. 19, Table 10; and other statistics drawn from the Census Bureau Survey of Income and Program Participation (SIPP), 2009; the University of Chicago General Social Survey, 2012, and Barna Group surveys, 2008.
Author Bio: Steve has worked with the church in Downers Grove (suburban Chicago) since 2008. He and his wife, Bette, have two adult children and three grandchildren. His blog, eklektikos, can be read at stevewolfgang.wordpress.com. He can be reached at stevewolfgang@aol.com or wolf@uky.edu.
