by David Flatt
Synopsis: After examining divorce and the Law of Moses, David considers the consequences of divorcing a faithful spouse and affirms that we are called to reflect God's glory through our marriages.
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery (Matt. 5:31-32).
There may not be a more divisive subject among saints today than the subject of marriage. One reason this may be true is due to the increasing numbers of Christians who are divorcing. Of course, within our society today, marriage has become part of the culture wars. However, increasing numbers of divorces among Christians, and a wide spectrum of teaching on the subject, only demonstrates the powerful influence the world has had on us over time.
The Bible's teaching regarding marriage is relatively brief; yet, there are many confounding explanations and practices on the matter. Many issues debated today among saints were debated one-hundred years ago. It is as if we have learned very little over time. Therefore, it is not at all surprising to find God's people 2,000 years ago were abusing God's ordination of marriage.
The Pharisees had corrupted the divine relationship of marriage. Remember their skewed perspective on ethics and morals: as long as a practice was legal, it was ethical and moral. As long as a divorce went through a legal process, the Pharisees thought they remained justified before God. Of course, they were wrong.
The Pharisees' view on divorce in Jesus' day came from a distorted understanding of the Law of Moses. We would be wise to understand what exactly the old law said about divorce and the intent of the law. Consider the following passage from Deuteronomy:
When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance (Deut. 24:1-4).
Why was this law enacted? Why is any law enacted? Laws are designed to discourage evil and promote good. Later in His ministry, Jesus said this law was enacted due to the hard-hearted people of Moses' time (Matt. 19:7-9). Some Israelites were going to divorce their spouses regardless of what God ordained concerning the life-long duration of marriage. Therefore, we can come to a specific reason why the law was enacted.
Mainly, the law was enacted to discourage divorce. Also, it made a compelling case against a hasty divorce. If a husband divorced his wife, he could never be reconciled to her. Sadly, the law was used to allow husbands to divorce their wives for any reason. There were various rabbinic interpretations as to the meaning of the phrase "some uncleanness"; however, men divorced for any reason under the sun. As far as Jesus was concerned, such practice was evidence of corrupt hearts. The Pharisees failed to recognize God's deeper purpose in creating marriage.
Well, what was the problem with husbands divorcing their wives for any reason? Such is a loveless act. Jesus condemned divorcing a faithful spouse. There was not a rabbi in Israel who taught anything like what Jesus commanded. Like some saints today, the rabbis focused on peripheral issues: the definition and interpretation of the phrase "some uncleanness." Jesus dealt with the fundamental issue: the heart. A husband who divorces his faithful wife acts without love. He lacks the kind of love needed to love one's neighbor as himself. After all, if one's spouse is not considered a neighbor, who is?
Now, Jesus did not stop at simply correcting contemporary interpretations of the Law of Moses. He took the subject farther, bringing His audience closer to His kingdom. Jesus went so far as to declare that a husband who divorces his wife shares in her subsequent adultery. The assumption Jesus made was that a divorced wife would remarry; even the Law of Moses assumed a divorced wife would remarry. The Pharisees thought they were free and clear to remarry once they went through the legalities of divorce. Not so with Jesus. He held them responsible for putting their spouse in the position to sin.
Additionally, Jesus forbids the put-away spouse from remarrying. The old law permitted the put-away spouse to remarry. Perhaps some divorces under the old law were amicable: both spouses looked forward to the potential of a new marriage. Such thinking has no place in the kingdom of God. Jesus warns of the sinful consequences of someone marrying a put-away spouse: sharing in adultery.
Marriage, divorce, and remarriage is a commonly repeated process today. In my lifetime, divorce has become commonplace in the church. Without a doubt, the world has had a devastating impact on saints' attitudes and behaviors regarding marriage. The concept of one man and one woman being married for life seems to be viewed as a fairy tale at best and a means of social engineering at worst. Among saints, divorce for reasons short of fornication is often regarded as something regrettable, but something which can be managed—provided ex-spouses remain celibate. While this sounds plausible, it has rarely been practiced.
For example, a couple who divorce for reasons short of fornication resolve to remain celibate. That may work for a while, but they soon realize what God acknowledged in the beginning: it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18). One of the ex-spouses remarries. The other ex-spouse thinks this is unfair. Somehow, the ex-spouse's remarriage is viewed as fornication against their former marriage; thus, giving them the right to remarry. A few Scriptures are twisted; a preacher and some elders are persuaded; presto, the other ex-spouse decides that he or she has a right to remarry. Ultimately, we are no different in our perversion of what God ordained in the beginning than the Pharisees were 2,000 years ago.
What we fail to see in our worldly approach to marriage is God's purpose in authoring this relationship. We may dispute endlessly over the meaning of words and clauses, but never recognize God's original intention for marriage. We may invent hyperbolic terminology which energizes our argument, but never realize how divorce is destructive to God's original purpose for marriage. Perhaps it is time for us to step up from our entrenchments and renew our thinking.
God established the covenant of marriage as a means to bring order to His creation—to reflect His glory in all the earth. Together, as image bearers of God, Adam and Eve were to subdue creation and procreate (Gen. 1:26-31). Marriage is a symbol of the harmonious order of the Creator and His Creation, serving as a signpost, pointing the rest of the world to the Creator.
Divorce is destructive to accomplishing this purpose. Divorcing a faithful spouse is especially destructive to this purpose. Divorcing a faithful spouse is evidence of selfishness, not self-giving love. Certainly, the glory of God is never reflected through such divisive attitudes and behaviors. Developing doctrines that justify such divisive attitudes and behaviors is not of the Creator. Similarly to the church, only through love and unity can the glory of God and the Messiah be reflected in the world (John 17:20-26).
Yes, Jesus does permit divorce for the reason of fornication. Fornication against one's spouse is a betrayal of the highest order. While love is sufficient to repair such a devastating blow to marriage, Jesus recognized that in some instances trust may be beyond repair. However, fornication is the only reason for which Jesus permitted divorce and remarriage.
We will likely continue to be surprised and challenged by Jesus' teaching on this subject. The apostles were quite surprised when He taught about marriage, divorce, and remarriage on another occasion. They thought remaining unmarried would be better if what Jesus taught was actually true (Matt. 19:10). Jesus did not cave to the pressure of the apostles' negative reaction to what He said. Instead, Jesus retorted,
. . . All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it (Matt. 19:11-12).
Jesus reinforced His teaching by telling them that if they could not live in marriage by this teaching, they could become eunuchs. Of course, this was not an acceptable alternative for most people, in either the past or the present. Therefore, like the apostles, we are expected to live in marriage by what God authored, and Jesus taught.
When husbands and wives choose to live in marriage and reflect the harmonious order of God's glory, wonderful things will be experienced. First, husbands and wives who live together by the self-giving qualities earlier described by Jesus in this sermon will be supported by the blessedness He offers. Of course, our marriages will experience hardships—some self-inflicted, some not. Regardless of what occurs, however, we will have a foundation on which we can solve our problems, extend forgiveness, and become stronger.
Second, God's glory will illuminate the hearts and minds of the children born into the marriage. Dysfunctional marriages (i.e., those dominated and destroyed by selfishness, materialism, and anger, etc.) are devastating to children. Children raised without the natural affection owed to them are woefully disadvantaged in fulfilling the purpose for which they have been created: to reflect the glory of God. Yet, the opposite is true of children who have been exposed to the light of the Creator by godly parents. Humans reflecting God's glory as His image bearers in this life are perpetuated in creation through the family.
Third, through our marriages, others will take notice of God's glory. In a society where marriages are expected to fall apart, husbands and wives need hope. Only God in Christ by the Spirit can offer hope. Such hope can be reflected through a godly marriage. Our marriages can become salt and light to encourage others to join us in a life of glorifying the Creator.
Marriage is one of the great gifts from God. This sacred relationship was given for our good. God intended to bless and enrich the life of Adam by giving him Eve. Marriage is a means by which God lightens the burden of life. May we cherish our spouse. May husbands continue to be as awestruck and grateful for their wives as Adam was at first sight of Eve. Rather than looking to God to find a way out of marriage, let us look to God to strengthen our marriage. May we never underestimate the power of filling our world with the glorious light of God through our marriage.
Author Bio: David and his family have labored with the Thayer Street congregation in Akron, Ohio since 2008. The church website is thayerstreetcoc.org. He can be reached at dflatt85@yahoo.com.
