Bette Wolfgang is a board-certified psychologist (and a former high school English teacher) who is now retired from private practice. She and Steve have two adult daughters, both married to Christians, and three grandchildren. Bette’s father, W.C. “Billy” Ashworth, preached the gospel for fifty years until his death in 2000, and her uncle, Dorris Rader and cousin, Donnie Rader, both are gospel preachers. Bette has taught Bible classes for girls and women since age 14. She and Steve now live in suburban Chicago and work and worship with the church in Downers Grove.

THE BIBLE AND HUMAN SEXUALITY

In the Beginning (Gen. 2), God created Adam and specially created his female counterpart to be his “suitable helper,” companion, wife, and sexual partner in the perfect environment of the Garden of Eden. They were innocent, naked, and perfectly matched by God Himself, without human rivals for their attention or distraction, with no gaudy, crude images posted and no human evil seductively lurking at every turn, no covetous or wrongful lust. He presented them to each other for sensuous delight, gratification, and procreation, with the admonition to be committed to each other and be joined, to “become one flesh.” The Lord adds, approvingly, that “they were not ashamed.”

However, Evil itself entered soon, ushering in the ways by which sin, shame, and guilt can shatter good, innocent people’s lives forever. The misuse and abuse of sex occurs continually in the World. Perversions (such as rape, molestation, pornography, incest, and other sexual atrocities) happen to children, women, and sometimes, men, causing damage and destruction to them physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally, and, most importantly, spiritually in too many cases.

God’s pure, crowning, consummate gift, sacred to the marriage relationship, has been sullied, trivialized, treated with contempt, and violently used as a weapon against the weak and helpless. In our society, uncontrolled sex has been advertised aggressively and presented as acceptable and “cool,” with emphasis on the physical, passing pleasure, as a part of almost “everyone’s” daily life so long as both parties are willing. Legally, a few limits remain, but even those are increasingly ignored.

Ponder this very troubling but extremely crucial question: Since the original devastating temptation and sin happened in the perfect setting in God’s Garden, can we seriously as Christians (parents, church members, elders), really be surprised, or worse, in total denial, that sexual sins, abuse or rape can happen among Christians?

Much media attention has been given to the scandals of the Roman Catholic church’s callous disregard and cover-up of the epidemic of sexual abuse of children by priests in order to protect the reputation of the hierarchy and institution. Their sacrificing of the well-being of children and youth has been correctly condemned by the press, law enforcement, medical and mental health, and religious leaders and Christians as a betrayal of sacred trust. Such indifference and disregard of the most vulnerable, perpetrated by those in power, is rightly held to be irresponsible, reprehensible, and criminal.

However, it is far too easy to isolate this kind of behavior to a single religious entity which requires its clergy to be celibate, and to explain it away as an understandable unintended consequence of the vow of chastity in consort with easy access to altar boys, as well as close counseling situations between the priests and congregants. One outcome of this and other misguided ways of thinking allow denial that sexual abuse occurs among “us” – in churches and among Christians.

Scripture teaches us that temptations of all kinds occur and that Satan is among us as a “roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Pet. 5:8). I, and others, have personal knowledge of far too many cases of such abuses in Christian homes, cases of abuse of position and power within the church, and know of many other cases. I have seen results of some research which supports this shameful fact. Too many of us have naively and comfortably allowed ourselves to believe that “this sort of thing” just simply does not happen among us, to the harm of our young, trusting, and powerless.

Sexual abuse is defined as, “Unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats, or taking advantage of victims not able to give consent.” Force does not always mean physical pressure; it can be emotional coercion, psychological force or manipulation to coerce victims into non-consensual sexual acts. These can include fondling or unwanted touching. The National Sex Offender Public Website states this alarming statistic: “Most perpetrators are acquaintances, but as many as 47% are family or extended family.” In addition, this website’s statistic regarding child sexual abuse is that as many as 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be sexually abused during their childhood; the actual number may be higher, some believe, since many victims do not report their abuse. (Statistics vary somewhat according to sources and dates of samples; most of the statistics given in this section are from the US Department of Justice and from the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network [RAINN]). Even if the statistics were only a mere fraction of what the general population reports, Christians and churches are made up of human beings – not simply statistics. Should we not be alarmed and on high alert, as guardians over their souls and bodies, to do whatever we can to watch for danger and be proactive to provide safety for them in our midst?

Sexual assault is defined as “a crime of power and control, which refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim and includes penetration of the victim’s body (rape), attempted rape, forcing a person to perform sexual acts (such as oral sex or penetration), or sexual touching. All of these acts may be committed by someone known to the victim (acquaintance, relative, neighbor, intimate partner/spouse/date), or a stranger. Two-thirds of victims are assaulted by someone they know. Forty-seven percent of rapists are “friends” or acquaintances.

God’s divine plan for relationship is built on love, trust, and selflessness. Sexuality has a special place in sealing oneness in the only relationship God approves: the marriage of a man and a woman, mature enough to have formed a commitment and with intent to live a life as one in Him, as described in Ephesians 5:21-33. Other sexual activity is a perversion – an ugly, twisted, sinful, ungodly misuse of the body and mind, selfishly exploiting another human being by destroying the spiritual and transcendent aspect for which He intended it.

Still, the most heinous of all these atrocities must surely be the betrayal of the innocence and trust of the children (in Christian families and in churches proclaiming Christ) who are preyed upon by some Christian (brother, elder, deacon, minister, teacher) who is weak (or evil) and has given in to a deviant sexual desire for a child or adolescent who knows and trusts him – an innocent who has been taught (without question!) to obey those older, and perhaps in authority, and to be “helpful,” without limits. (Occasionally, an abuser may be female, yet much more often, male.) The next level of betrayal may occur when the child or adolescent gets the courage to tell what happened, but is not believed, or is told to keep it a secret in order to avoid getting someone into trouble. Unfortunately, this has been the case for many victims for decades, and when it occurs, their trust in others and, likely, in the Lord, their Heavenly Father, and the church, all become weak and may never be restored. Silence is the enemy of truth, justice, accountability, repentance, redemption, and healing.

What needs to happen in our minds and behavior, in our parenting, in our churches? Scripture is clear; Jesus stated in Matthew 10:16, “…be shrewd as serpents, and innocent as doves.” We must strive to be innocent of sin, but we must also be willing to be wise regarding what is true and not be deceived, in spite of how distressing and disappointing such knowledge will be (2 Thess. 2:11). We, as parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, Christians, elders, teachers are responsible for the “little ones” in our families and in the churches. If we are not watchful, adequately and proactively protective and caring, how can we be Christ-like, modeling the Chief Shepherd who cared for and protected His sheep – especially His lambs (John 10; Luke 15:4-7)?

Christians must learn to balance our trusting, loving nature with alertness and proactive caution regarding the innocence and safety of our children and other vulnerable ones from those who would be tempted to take advantage of religious “community.” Sexual predators, and those who are drawn to those perceived as easy targets, manipulate not only children, but also caring and helpful adults who are loving, inclusive, think the best of others, and show mercy and forgiveness. We must not be deluded into thinking that children are likely to make false accusations of sexual abuse. Studies (and clinical observations) have shown this to be rare (Oates, et al., 2000.)[1] Rather, children are more likely to deny abuse or lie to protect the perpetrator or to avoid “getting someone in trouble” (Lawson, 1992).[2]

Sexual perpetrators are not only sinners, they are criminals! In both cases, they need to be held accountable. Many people have highly inaccurate stereotypes about sexual predators and how to address their behaviors appropriately. If an allegation of sexual abuse is made among our number, it is not our job, ultimately, to investigate and make legal judgments regarding guilt or innocence. It is imperative, however, to take such allegations seriously, and to confront the person named as the transgressor. Regardless of the response of the accused, further measures may be necessary (as with any other criminal behavior). Consulting the laws of the state regarding the duty to report such allegations should be clarified and followed, as Romans 13 dictates. Professional counseling for the victim(s) and the family is often needed to promote maximum healing and minimize long-term traumatic symptoms from sexual abuse/assault. Forgiveness for the sinner is important, yet does not eliminate legal consequences of sexual violations/crimes.

It is undeniable to anyone who takes Scripture seriously that sexual sins occur among God’s people. God’s early laws in Leviticus and Deuteronomy speak of them as abominations and, under Mosaic Law, the offenders were deemed worthy of death. Under Christ’s law, they are no less vile; the difference is, they can be forgiven. However, if those who abuse the vulnerable are not called to account by Christians who know (or should know), they will continue to perpetrate these crimes, and will lose their souls. Additionally, how many more of the lambs will be lost in despair and unbelief as a result of the abuser’s sins and the neglect of their shepherds? Let us not be willfully ignorant and turn our heads away because well-disguised predators may be in our midst.

Some of you who read this article know of incidents like this which have been dealt with appropriately, and with great sadness, in families of Christians, as well as in your congregations. At least as many are likely to know of or be victims who have all too clear recollections of such incidents about which nothing was done to stop the perpetrator and to help the victimized. Hopefully, awareness will be raised, and all will be more watchful, educated, prepared, and willing to deal lovingly yet firmly with anyone crossing these dangerous boundaries, and to nurture spiritually, morally, physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy children (and other victims) to continue becoming strong, faithful Christians in the Father’s service.

Endnotes

[1] R. K. Oates, et.al., “Erroneous concerns about child sexual abuse,” Child Abuse and Neglect, 2000 (25:12), 1643-1659.

[2] L. Lawson and M. Chaffin, “False Negatives in Sexual Abuse Disclosure Interviews,” Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 1992.