by Kyle Pope
Synopsis: A tender conscience is a vital tool in helping us faithfully serve the Lord. Parents must act wisely to help safeguard this precious asset in the hearts of our children.
The nightly news is filled with tragic stories of young men and women who commit horrible acts of brutality and cruelty while still at an early age in life. On a recent broadcast, one expert observed that increasingly, even after being convicted and sentenced for serious crimes, many of today's young people demonstrate no remorse or sense of shame when they are called to account for their actions. This is much as it was in Jeremiah's day. Concerning the wicked of Judah, the Lord asked, "Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? No! They were not at all ashamed, nor did they know how to blush" (Jer. 8:12, NKJV).
Sadly, this tendency is not limited to the hardened criminals of our society, but even among young people within the church throughout the brotherhood. We see lies told casually, immorality embraced, delight taken in intoxication, laws broken, authorities mocked, and rebellion admired. While it is true that the young of all periods of history have struggled with such things, I'm afraid that some things young people are forced to face in this age are much more threatening to their eternal welfare than the issues that rebellious youth of previous generations could ever imagine. Lifelong addictions can begin in childhood. Disrespect for the very things that can help them the most can become imbedded within young hearts. Failure to restrain attitudes and actions of the flesh can make it so difficult to turn back to spiritual values that many never do. Jesus aptly warned, "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matt. 18:6).
Undoubtedly, many factors account for this—some that are within and some that are outside of our control. However, it seems to me that there are a few things we can do while our children are young to help preserve a tender conscience within them.
Behaving a certain way because a child's parents demand it has its limitations. As soon as a child realizes that mom and dad can't always know what he does in secret, all of the instruction in the world can go out the window. The human soul must realize that God watches over our actions at all times. Such knowledge helps us to govern our behavior properly. The Hebrew writer warned, "There is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account" (Heb. 4:13).
Sometimes a little child will look his parents in the face and defiantly tell them, "No!" If parents allow a child to deliberately disobey their clear instructions, they are planting the embryonic seeds of rebellion that one day may produce the spirit that looks in the face of God and rejects His counsel. Certainly, there will be times when children rebel. I'm not saying we should treat every incident of rebellion the same way or with the same severity, regardless of age, comprehension, or intent. However, we must not make it seem as if some rebellion is acceptable. We must let children know that it is a serious matter to reject the authority that God has placed over us, whether it be parents, teachers, elders, civil authorities, or Scripture itself. Paul taught, "There is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves" (Rom. 13:1-2). If parents ignore rebellion, we indirectly tell our children that sometimes it is acceptable to disobey "the ordinance of God." It is not!
I'm not sure why it is, but over the last few decades, there has been a dramatic change in societal expectations of the type behavior of which children are capable. The world tells us, "You just can't expect a little child to behave"—so children are not expected to obey and behave themselves. The result is that when parents don't expect a certain behavior, that behavior doesn't happen. Yes, all of us have seen cases of parents communicating to their children that they "aren't good enough," no matter what they do. This can be just as destructive, and I am certainly not advocating that kind of cruel mistreatment of children. Nevertheless, we must look to Scripture to determine for ourselves the type of behavior that God expects of His children, and then exercise loving yet forceful influence to help produce that behavior in our children. The Psalmist declares rightly, "The entrance of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple" (Ps. 119:130). The world will not follow the standard of Scripture, but we must do so. Thus, we give our children a stable example and guiding influence that will provide them with the strength to stand against the tide.
Author-Bio: Kyle preaches for the Olsen Park church of Christ in Amarillo, TX. He has written several books published by Truth Publications including How We Got the Bible. The church website is olsenpark.com. He can be reached at kmpope@att.net.
